A Day in the Life, Perfectly Modeled

Yesterday was one of those rare perfect days; it came on the end of a weeklong battle with a black cloud in my soul, which made it even more perfect. As much as I would love to spend the next hour crafting (my usual activity after kids go to bed), I felt like I had to record this day so I could read back over it someday later when it gets tough again.

We had two activities planned, which is more than I like. So I prayed for guidance knowing what needed to happen today and being able to let go of what we didn't need to do. As much fun as activities outside the home are, and with the temptation to focus on what we'd miss out on if we didn't go to one, I have to make an effort to think of what we'd miss out on if we didn't stay home. Lily is potty-training and loves to be naked, so going out can sometimes be a struggle: we have to clothe her while she is throwing a screaming tantrum (and of course by "we" I mean "I"), and she often won't stop crying until we're BACK HOME and she can be naked again. She is just so offended that I clothe her without her permission. This REALLY reduces my incentive to go out every day! Tim introduced her to the concept of wearing clothes to keep warm, I turned the heater down a wee bit, and together we have her wearing clothes voluntarily about half the time!

So, after a lovely morning of eating breakfast together, we bid Daddy goodbye and started getting our morning chores (dishes). We got them done quickly and cheerfully, and I told Jack that since we worked quickly we could play a little bit before we had to go. He loved that, and immediately said we would read library books; we did, and then I said it was time to go. Jack said he'd rather stay home and read (which is VERY rare, he is almost always the most excited one about an outing and the first one to be ready to go), and when I started to clothe Lily she immediately tugged her clothes back off and screamed "NO!" and ran away. I decided that must be a sign from Heaven and said "OK, we'll stay home and read more books!" Jack was happy, Lily nursed, and I reveled in enjoying my kids.

My kids have a touch of diarrhea. This would normally be no big deal, but Lily is potty training. She is doing remarkably well, thankfully, but she refuses to use any public toilet. This makes me want even more to just stay home more, at least for the next week or so while she gets over the bug and cements her pottying skills. She's been pooping at least 5 times a day for the past few days; she's only had a couple of accidents and they were when Tim was home to help. I am amazed at her ability to feel the urge to poop and run to the toilet in time to not have an accident! She pauses in the middle of nursing, reading, or eating without being prompted; I ask her if she wants to go potty if she's engrossed in playing and it's been an hour or more. She still gets a little surly if I push too hard for her to go potty if she's busy playing, but she is making improvement. (She used to flat-out refuse to go potty if I pushed her too hard to go, and I would end up diapering her just to protect my floors and make a point.) She hasn't had a diaper or an accident in 2 days!

So, we read books, and Lily went potty a few times. It occurred to me that if we had gone out, she would have had poop in her training pants, and I said that to Jack and he said "It's a good thing we stayed home!" We ate lunch and sweet Lily yawned and picked at her food, then asked for me to hold her, and I put her down for her nap. Sweet Jack played happily with his toys while I nursed her down, and when I was done, we played with toys and board games and puzzles for almost 2 hours while Lily slept. I have a bad habit of putting Jack off when he asks to play with me, and I realized that I was telling him no a LOT more often than I was playing with him. So today I focused on playing with my kids in all my free time, and we had such a happy home!

We played with a wooden ball track that Jack and Tim got me for my birthday. I realized that it is not good for running the ball through over and over, it's better for building a track and using it just once or twice. I got bored with it, and rather than suffer through for Jack's sake, I decided that it would be better to play something else I liked than give him the idea that I didn't like playing with him. I offered him the choice of playing with that toy by himself or playing something else with me, and he didn't have to consider at all: he chose playing with me! We played a board game that's pretty short, so we played it again. Then we got out a 1000-piece puzzle that Tim's grandma gave us for Christmas, and Jack got his 24-piece puzzle that we got from the dollar store, and we worked on them side-by-side. He did his puzzle all by himself! He's had the skill, but I didn't ever have the patience to sit back and let him do it. It was easier for me to let him since I was working on my own puzzle. Jack got a little frustrated when he found pieces that he didn't know where to put, but I told him to try a new piece, and he did, and he was rather pleased with himself when he was done; I was even more pleased with him than he was and I think I may have overdone the praise, but I'd rather err on the side of too much than too little :D

We got out another board game when Jack got bored of watching me do the big puzzle, and before we could start playing it Lily woke up and needed to nurse. Jack didn't complain at all, and he was ecstatic as usual when Lily decided to stay awake, even though it meant we were done playing the board game. (I tried to put the game away before Lily saw, but she did, and threw a fit, but then she calmed down and said "Pweese?" How could I not get the game back out when she exhibited such self-control?) He happily let her explore the pieces of the game, then happily helped me put it away while Lily was looking the other way, then helped Lily go potty.

Yes, by the way, Jack loves to help Lily go potty. It's really rather remiss of me that I have yet to put a stool up to the toilet so Lily can get on and off all by herself, but I really just don't have any motivation now that I have a 4-year-old who loves to pick his sister up and plop her down on the potty seat! (And in my defense, we own THREE different-sized stools, and NONE of them are the exact right height. Too small is no help, and too big is actually no help either. It has to be EXACTLY the right height to be useful to a wobbly toddler.) He helps her get out of her clothes (all of them, b/c that is what she insists on), picks her up, and sets her down as gently as he can (which isn't very, but apparently it's gentle enough b/c Lily loves it). Then he sits down on a stool in front of her and sings to her and talks to her and watches and listens for her to actually use the toilet, and he proclaims loudly to me if she does. He hasn't helped her wipe yet, but she is actually not too bad at wiping herself if she's only peed. And I am usually standing by through all this, but it is so nice if I'm right in the middle of some tricky cooking and Lily runs to the potty, to be able to say "Jack, quick, Lily needs help going potty!" and he drops whatever he's doing and runs to her aid! He has learned how to tell if Lily wants off the potty even though she didn't do anything on it (she lifts up her legs to push herself up and will do her best to stand up right on the toilet seat, but she'll happily lean into outstretched arms instead); those two are learning how to get along with each other and I am so happy to see it!

I got Lily dressed (and she cooperated!) and printed out a map to the park we were headed to, and out we went. A homeschool group met there today and I wanted to meet them; Jack wanted to get out and play with other kids, too. They were really nice, and well-mixed. All styles from hardcore academic to unschooling, and all ages from infant to teen. And they're not too far away, and they meet on a day that works well for me. I think we'll be going back there! Jack played with the boys while they dug trenches in sand, and he had a blast; Lily explored all over but REALLY wanted to climb on the wagons and tricycles brought there by other park-goers. She was pretty upset when I told her not to, and I had to nurse her to appease her. And all too soon it was time to come home and make dinner; Jack didn't want to and he really wanted to throw a fit, but he didn't. Hallelujah!

Dinner was a throw-together-whatever-makes-a-nutritious-meal night. Grocery day is Saturday and I REFUSE to go to the store otherwise; our weekly budget is $80 and I REFUSE to go over it. This makes for interesting dinners, but I see it as a challenge and had fun putting together our meal: scrambled eggs, plain noodles, salad, and smoothie. The kids loved it, and this was the first dinner in my memory that we didn't have to argue with Jack about finishing his food!

After dinner we lazed on the couch for about 15 minutes, then started bedtime: brushing teeth, flossing, pottying, putting on pajamas, saying nightly prayer, and watching a scripture video in Jack's bed and then discussing the video. Jack is getting better and better at telling the story back to us, and he will occasionally ask questions about what he doesn't understand. He often will draw parallels between the scripture story and either a secular story or something that really happened. Then I laid down with him and rubbed his feet and told him "his story", in which I rehearse everything he did that day and point out the good things, and sometimes point out what he needs to improve on. He said his favorite part of the day was playing at the park, but playing with me at home was his other favorite part. And I sang him his song, and left him with a kiss.

Tim read books to Lily in our bed while I was with Jack, and I came and she excitedly showed me the book she was looking at, then said "Mo moweee!" ("More more") and laid down. In other words, "I'm ready to nurse to sleep now!" And she did, and it was only 8:30! (She's been having trouble going to sleep at bedtime lately; we've had trouble getting bedtime started at 7 o'clock, and every time we start it late, she either conks out nursing on Jack's bed or stays up WIRED until after 10!)

My kids got lots of playtime with me, and I got to see how much they are growing up. It was a good day :D Jack is a big grown-up boy already, but when he gets more playtime with me I can see him stretch even more. He is such a delight to have around! And Lily is just growing by leaps and bounds; she's potty-training and her vocabulary is exploding. She repeats almost every one-syllable word we say, she says the name of everyone in our family ("Mommeeeee! Daddeeeeee! Gack! Yahweeee!"). Two phrases of hers that I love are "Pweese?" and "Hup me!" (help me). And she whispers "Pooooo pooooo! Peeeee peeeee!" as she runs helter-skelter down the hall to the potty. That kid is such a joy!

My kids picked their clothes. This is a usual occurrence for Jack, but Lily doesn't always, and she especially doesn't always look THIS cute in her outfit!

Hiking at Fremont Older Open Space, the closest nature preserve south of us. Tim wore Lily b/c I was wearing a baby I watch every Saturday. We go out to explore nature every Saturday, and I watch the baby every Saturday, so this time we experimented with taking him with us, and it worked quite well :D

Biking just north of Lake Chabot (pronounced "sha-BOW"), near Oakland. One of Tim's programmer friends in Oakland was throwing a party that night, so we explored the nature around Oakland :D We parked at the top of the hill, biked down as fast as we felt comfortable, and walked up. Oy!

Gratitude

I'm grumpy. I need to count my blessings:

-Lily is all better, with just a bit of a cough left over. Even that is taken care of by breathing steam from the shower for just a few minutes.

-Jack is patient and sweet, even when I'm not.

-Tim has been so helpful this last week and a half.

-There are delicious things to eat in the fridge and cabinets. Some of them are even good for me!

-This cold at its worst is not even as bad as the flu. At its best it's like not even being sick at all, with the exception of contagion keeping us house-bound.

-Our house really is lovely, and Tim tidied it all week to keep it so :D

-There are little seeds working on germinating in my garden plot!

-Lily is learning how to be free of diapers and how to dress and undress herself.

-Jack is learning alphabet letters and Articles of Faith.

-We FINALLY got a bedtime routine firmly entrenched in our home, and the kids LOVE it. They fall asleep quickly after we put them to bed, and if we stay up and try to party, they poop out on us by 8:30!

-Lily is learning how to put puzzles together, and it is so much fun to watch her dexterity improve :D

-Jack is learning how to put his computer together as Tim moves it all over the house and sets it up in different places.

-Just that I have these wonderful people in my family! They are all a delight to be around!

-We have knowledge and ability to apply it. We are healthy and happy :D

-I know God loves me and is happy with (at least some of) my efforts.

-I have scriptures printed and bound, and also in many different forms on my electronic devices. I am ALWAYS able to read them.

-I have a temple recommend (and Tim does, too). Now to coordinate babysitting on a temple trip...

I think I'll go do that now!

Lily's better, yay!

Lily went for about 2 days and nights of not ever being happy. She could be distracted from the screaming, but she would go for an hour screaming without being consoled. It was really hard on me b/c she would refuse to nurse, and I hardly know how to comfort a screaming toddler if I can't nurse her! But finally, Sunday night, I told Tim I was ready to take her to the ER b/c I couldn't handle any more. We said a prayer for Lily, then Tim got the idea to take her into the bathroom and turn on the shower full-blast, hot water only. That made the room really steamy, and Lily's cough stopped, and she asked to take a bath; Tim turned on some cold water so it would be a comfy temp and let her bathe in it until she was ready to get out an HOUR later. She slept like a rock that night (except for when she woke up to nurse back to sleep, yay!) and has been all better ever since.

I got Lily's cold and Jack did, too, so even once Lily got better we still couldn't go anywhere. I pouted all day Tuesday and let the kids play computer and iPad games and I cross-stitched and ate chicken nuggets, and was happy again Wednesday. (I think it also helped that I discovered I was holding the ear thermometer wrong and didn't really have a fever!) In our weekly schedule, Monday is library day, and we didn't get to do that. Tuesday is when we meet with some other homeschoolers to read to our kids together, and we didn't get to do that. Wednesday is when our church playgroup gets together, and we didn't get to do that, but I was at peace anyway. Today is Deep Clean Day, when we vacuum and sweep all the floors and wipe down the bathrooms and then bake cookies together to treat ourselves. So far today we're right on schedule. And I'm excited that we'll get to actually LEAVE THE HOUSE tomorrow and go to a museum for our Friday Museum Day, b/c we seem to be not contagious anymore, though we all still have snot and coughs we're all not feverish.

Jack learned some letters while playing computer games Sunday. The best part was that it was entirely his own desire to learn! He was playing a game on PBSkids.org, and part of the game you could either click with the mouse or press a key on the keyboard. He studied the letter, hunted until he found it on the keyboard, and pressed the key. He's played the game before, so he knew he could click the mouse much more easily, but time after time he pressed the keyboard key instead. It went in a row down the top row of keys (QWERTYUIOP), and I kept expecting him to realize that the next one was right next to the one he just found, but he didn't. Oh well. And I restrained myself from congratulating and praising him to oblivion, too.

Jack exploded at dinner Monday. Eating is an ongoing battle around these here parts; Jack doesn't like to feed himself unless it's something supremely unhealthy like chips or candy or cereal. My tactic is to put the food in front of him and tell him he's welcome to leave the table when he's done with his food, then ignore him as much as possible while he sits there and sings to himself and contorts in his chair for the next hour. But it was time for Family Home Evening, and that put more pressure on him than his poor little 4-year-old body could handle, and he broke down and cried and would not be consoled until Tim finally got it through his head that we want EFFORT more than we want the food eaten, so if he would just pick up the spoon and feed himself, he would have plenty of time. Well, he stuffed himself so quickly that he puked it up. I was so glad I was busy with Lily and wasn't actually there for the puking! So we made him drink some chamomile tea before he could have the cookies we'd made for FHE.

I have finally instituted a set bedtime for the kids. I never got around to it before b/c it seemed like more trouble than it was worth, but I need some kid-free time in the evenings more than I used to. 7 o'clock sharp we brush teeth, floss, change into jammies, go potty, and then gather on Jack's bed to say nightly prayer and watch a scripture video. We discuss the video together, then I tuck in Jack while Tim holds Lily; after I get Jack tucked in I nurse Lily to sleep in my bed. It's all done by 8, and I have kid-free time for 2 hours! And I am such a happier and more loving Mommy!

I just looked at a map of the museums around us. We have within a 10-minute drive a lock museum, a mechanical museum, the Intel museum, a computer museum, the Sunnyvale history museum, a lace museum, an art museum, a navy museum, an Egyptian museum, a farmstead museum, and a Mountain View history museum. Most of them are free admission, and the couple that aren't free are at least free for the kids, so it won't cost much for us to go. The biggest limiting factor is that many of them are not open on Fridays, so it will take more than night-before-Museum-Day planning to visit them. (I'll have to actually plan a few days in advance! Will it ever happen?) I'm excited to show Jack the pictures on the internet of the museums he can pick for tomorrow!

We watched the new movie for The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (one of the Chronicles of Narnia) tonight, all four of us. What an adventure! Lily was a happy audience for about as long as it took the previews to be done, then she wanted to explore. I volunteered to take her to the bathroom when I discovered her diaper was wet (and then realized it was wet from pouring water on herself, not from actually peeing in it), so I missed a little bit of the movie, but after we got back she trekked up and down the steps and I got to watch the movie again, perched at the bottom of the steps. The theater was almost completely empty, yay for going on a weeknight! Jack loved it and got more out of it than he's gotten out of a movie at the theater yet. I'm sure that's just that he's grown and not that the movie was particularly better, but it might perhaps be that we read the book over the last week (although, they changed it significantly, so he probably didn't recognize much). It was even in 3-D and we all got to wear 3-D glasses. Lily loved playing with hers but refused to actually wear them; Jack's slid down to the end of his nose and I didn't notice until near the end of the movie, but then I slid them up and showed him how much better it looked with them on and he kept them on after that. The movie was lovely; it was of course changed from the book, and there were parts I was not happy with, but in the end they left in some of the good Christian symbolism and I was appeased :D

I love my family! I love the predictability that weekly schedules and daily routines give us!

Lily is starting to talk!

She expands her vocabulary daily, which is such a treat for our ears! For now she says Mommy and Daddy very clearly, Narnia ("Nah-nee"), nurse ("nuhsssss"), go, no, cheese ("chsssssss"), bubble ("buh-boooo"), poo-poo, cookie ("koo-geeee"), and shoes ("shoessssss"). She likes to repeat words after we say them. She used to always do this in a whisper, but she's starting to do it in a normal voice much more. AND! She's adding signs to her repertoire at least as quickly as words. She still does "more" but she started doing "drink" this last week. She was pretty excited today to do "milk".

We've been reading The Chronicles of Narnia together. Jack enjoys the cuddling up on the couch together at least as much as reading; he simply CANNOT listen to Narnia without a blanket! Lily often nurses while we read, which may be one reason why she loves it when we read together, but it's not the only reason. I don't fully understand why she enjoys it so; perhaps she likes listening to us talk for such a long time, or she likes having our family all stay together for such a long time. But she does certainly love it; she'll bring us (me or Tim) a book in the series and say "Nahnee! Nahnee!" and sit on our laps for a good 2-10 minutes listening to us read it to her.

Jack's new habit is to demand to act out each chapter we read after we read it. He hardly remembers anything from the chapter, which proves that it's a little bit over his head, but he loves for me to tell him what each character does and remind him what his character says. He often chooses to be King Edmund or Queen Lucy, or if any of the talking animal characters figures prominently he'll choose to be that one. But he shies away from parts with lots of talking; I wonder if that's b/c he likes knowing what to do, and he doesn't usually remember what everyone said? Yesterday we acted out the chapter from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader where the travelers come to Deathwater Island. One part involved using a spear as a sounding rod to see how deep the water was, and we used a few marble-track pieces all put together to be our "spear." After we were done, Jack discovered more pieces we could have used to make our spear longer, and he said we had to do the scene over again so we could use the longer spear. He took a different role that time, since we had just done it and he knew what to do. And we went through it a little faster, b/c I didn't have to tell Jack "Now we do this," or "Now you say that." He already knew and did his parts without being cued. Hmmm, I wonder if we should act each one out twice now? I'm floored at how much better I'm remembering the story now that we're acting it out, so I'm sure he's getting more of it this way, too. He enjoys the acting out even more than the reading; he's been asking if we can go back and act out the chapters of the stories we read before we got into this habit. I told him I'd be happy to start the series over and re-read and act them all out, when we're done with it the first time through. His eyes got so wide! "We can do it AGAIN?"

I've been a little concerned with Jack's love of play-acting situations we read and watch, but his lack of interest in making up new situations. Creativity has always been a challenge of mine (which is one reason I love to knit and cook, I feel like I am successful in being creative in those areas...), and I see it is a challenge for Jack, too. But I think if I keep up with the play-acting as we're doing it, he will extend himself into making up new things.

Lily is transitioning from loving to tear up books to loving to "read" books. Hallelujah! She flips through pages and whispers or talks about all the pictures. Here's the breakthrough, though: if there's a page that's started to tear, she doesn't finish tearing it! I can now trust her with books!

We brought my Mom here for Christmas. We had a blast :D We mostly just hung out around the house, but we played games together and cooked together and did dishes together and sat and talked. I felt like we all got to know each other better. Lily was the most obvious one; when Nanna (my Mom) first came, Lily was a little wary of her, but by the time Nanna left, Lily was spontaneously hugging and kissing her often :D We soaked our feet in some bath salts Tim's sister gave me, and Lily asked Nanna to pick her up and put her feet in, too, even though I was sitting right next to her and she could have asked me to. And Jack said "I love you right up to the moon and back 4 times!" as Nanna was getting ready to leave. (He got the idea from the book "Guess How Much I Love You" by Anita Jeram and Sam McBratney, but we haven't read that book in quite some time, so yay for Jack remembering!)

We hung around here for New Year's Eve and Day, too. New Year's Eve we splurged and got the movie "Prince Caspian" since we had just finished reading that book and we have free tickets to go see "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" in theaters. (And we'll do that as soon as we're done reading the book!) We made cookies and ate them while watching the movie. Then we put the kids to bed and stayed up til midnight just to feel like grown ups (Tim worked on a software project and I cross-stitched).

Lily has a cold that is really annoying. It seems to get better and worse with no cause. And I've got it and so does Jack, so the first Sabbath of the new year and we have to stay home. Lily first got it over a week ago, but it really does seem to be just a cold, just a really annoying one, so unless she's still got it another week from now I don't think we'll go to the doc. (What would they do, give us medicine that I wouldn't want to take? Antibiotics don't help with viral illnesses, and any medicine to treat the symptoms of a cold are usually unsafe and ineffective. But if we're still sick in a week then it might be something worse than a cold.) We've got sore throats and stuffy noses, and sleeping is more difficult b/c breathing through stuffy noses is difficult. Lily's been up 3 nights of this cold, insisting on being upright. Last night was the first time, though, that she was grumpy enough to insist that her holder should stand up, so Tim and I played tag team most of the night :P I worry about a possible ear infection, but that wouldn't make her cough stick around or her nose stay stuffy.

I think the most annoying thing is not knowing what's going on, and knowing that there's probably not much I can do. Such is life, huh?

This just in: Tim just got home from church and says that Jack's teacher said Jack is one of the brightest and rowdiest kids in the class. Score!

Photos!

Our family Christmas photo. I'm so glad we realized our camera has a timer!

Lily loves to wear other people's shoes. She's been learning how to walk in mine and can now do so pretty well!

Gingerbread house from a very stale kit. Jack had a great time putting candy on it! He even spontaneously told me I did a beautiful job putting icing on the roof. AND, when we got the box out, he looked at the illustrated directions on the back and said "Step 1: squeeze icing. Step 2: put house together. Step 3: put icing on house. Step 4: put candy on house." He was "reading" the pictures of the directions. And he's doing that every time he finds illustrated directions in other things, like the seed packet we planted seeds from yesterday. (I forgot to mention! We live in Coastal Northern California, we can garden year-round here, so we planted carrots, spinach, and lettuce yesterday!) No worries about that kid's reading readiness skills!

We played Stomple, a gift from Tim's parents (we think), and when Tim took pics of the board, Lily thought he was taking pics of her and smiled so sweetly for the camera!

Right before taking Nanna to the airport. I was hoping that the foot soak might help my Mom's arthritic body handle the plane ride better, and it did! Lily saw us and came and wanted to join in. She stayed there for a few minutes, just gently swirling her feet in the warm water. And I got to cross-stitch. Yay!