A Day in the Life, Perfectly Modeled

Yesterday was one of those rare perfect days; it came on the end of a weeklong battle with a black cloud in my soul, which made it even more perfect. As much as I would love to spend the next hour crafting (my usual activity after kids go to bed), I felt like I had to record this day so I could read back over it someday later when it gets tough again.

We had two activities planned, which is more than I like. So I prayed for guidance knowing what needed to happen today and being able to let go of what we didn't need to do. As much fun as activities outside the home are, and with the temptation to focus on what we'd miss out on if we didn't go to one, I have to make an effort to think of what we'd miss out on if we didn't stay home. Lily is potty-training and loves to be naked, so going out can sometimes be a struggle: we have to clothe her while she is throwing a screaming tantrum (and of course by "we" I mean "I"), and she often won't stop crying until we're BACK HOME and she can be naked again. She is just so offended that I clothe her without her permission. This REALLY reduces my incentive to go out every day! Tim introduced her to the concept of wearing clothes to keep warm, I turned the heater down a wee bit, and together we have her wearing clothes voluntarily about half the time!

So, after a lovely morning of eating breakfast together, we bid Daddy goodbye and started getting our morning chores (dishes). We got them done quickly and cheerfully, and I told Jack that since we worked quickly we could play a little bit before we had to go. He loved that, and immediately said we would read library books; we did, and then I said it was time to go. Jack said he'd rather stay home and read (which is VERY rare, he is almost always the most excited one about an outing and the first one to be ready to go), and when I started to clothe Lily she immediately tugged her clothes back off and screamed "NO!" and ran away. I decided that must be a sign from Heaven and said "OK, we'll stay home and read more books!" Jack was happy, Lily nursed, and I reveled in enjoying my kids.

My kids have a touch of diarrhea. This would normally be no big deal, but Lily is potty training. She is doing remarkably well, thankfully, but she refuses to use any public toilet. This makes me want even more to just stay home more, at least for the next week or so while she gets over the bug and cements her pottying skills. She's been pooping at least 5 times a day for the past few days; she's only had a couple of accidents and they were when Tim was home to help. I am amazed at her ability to feel the urge to poop and run to the toilet in time to not have an accident! She pauses in the middle of nursing, reading, or eating without being prompted; I ask her if she wants to go potty if she's engrossed in playing and it's been an hour or more. She still gets a little surly if I push too hard for her to go potty if she's busy playing, but she is making improvement. (She used to flat-out refuse to go potty if I pushed her too hard to go, and I would end up diapering her just to protect my floors and make a point.) She hasn't had a diaper or an accident in 2 days!

So, we read books, and Lily went potty a few times. It occurred to me that if we had gone out, she would have had poop in her training pants, and I said that to Jack and he said "It's a good thing we stayed home!" We ate lunch and sweet Lily yawned and picked at her food, then asked for me to hold her, and I put her down for her nap. Sweet Jack played happily with his toys while I nursed her down, and when I was done, we played with toys and board games and puzzles for almost 2 hours while Lily slept. I have a bad habit of putting Jack off when he asks to play with me, and I realized that I was telling him no a LOT more often than I was playing with him. So today I focused on playing with my kids in all my free time, and we had such a happy home!

We played with a wooden ball track that Jack and Tim got me for my birthday. I realized that it is not good for running the ball through over and over, it's better for building a track and using it just once or twice. I got bored with it, and rather than suffer through for Jack's sake, I decided that it would be better to play something else I liked than give him the idea that I didn't like playing with him. I offered him the choice of playing with that toy by himself or playing something else with me, and he didn't have to consider at all: he chose playing with me! We played a board game that's pretty short, so we played it again. Then we got out a 1000-piece puzzle that Tim's grandma gave us for Christmas, and Jack got his 24-piece puzzle that we got from the dollar store, and we worked on them side-by-side. He did his puzzle all by himself! He's had the skill, but I didn't ever have the patience to sit back and let him do it. It was easier for me to let him since I was working on my own puzzle. Jack got a little frustrated when he found pieces that he didn't know where to put, but I told him to try a new piece, and he did, and he was rather pleased with himself when he was done; I was even more pleased with him than he was and I think I may have overdone the praise, but I'd rather err on the side of too much than too little :D

We got out another board game when Jack got bored of watching me do the big puzzle, and before we could start playing it Lily woke up and needed to nurse. Jack didn't complain at all, and he was ecstatic as usual when Lily decided to stay awake, even though it meant we were done playing the board game. (I tried to put the game away before Lily saw, but she did, and threw a fit, but then she calmed down and said "Pweese?" How could I not get the game back out when she exhibited such self-control?) He happily let her explore the pieces of the game, then happily helped me put it away while Lily was looking the other way, then helped Lily go potty.

Yes, by the way, Jack loves to help Lily go potty. It's really rather remiss of me that I have yet to put a stool up to the toilet so Lily can get on and off all by herself, but I really just don't have any motivation now that I have a 4-year-old who loves to pick his sister up and plop her down on the potty seat! (And in my defense, we own THREE different-sized stools, and NONE of them are the exact right height. Too small is no help, and too big is actually no help either. It has to be EXACTLY the right height to be useful to a wobbly toddler.) He helps her get out of her clothes (all of them, b/c that is what she insists on), picks her up, and sets her down as gently as he can (which isn't very, but apparently it's gentle enough b/c Lily loves it). Then he sits down on a stool in front of her and sings to her and talks to her and watches and listens for her to actually use the toilet, and he proclaims loudly to me if she does. He hasn't helped her wipe yet, but she is actually not too bad at wiping herself if she's only peed. And I am usually standing by through all this, but it is so nice if I'm right in the middle of some tricky cooking and Lily runs to the potty, to be able to say "Jack, quick, Lily needs help going potty!" and he drops whatever he's doing and runs to her aid! He has learned how to tell if Lily wants off the potty even though she didn't do anything on it (she lifts up her legs to push herself up and will do her best to stand up right on the toilet seat, but she'll happily lean into outstretched arms instead); those two are learning how to get along with each other and I am so happy to see it!

I got Lily dressed (and she cooperated!) and printed out a map to the park we were headed to, and out we went. A homeschool group met there today and I wanted to meet them; Jack wanted to get out and play with other kids, too. They were really nice, and well-mixed. All styles from hardcore academic to unschooling, and all ages from infant to teen. And they're not too far away, and they meet on a day that works well for me. I think we'll be going back there! Jack played with the boys while they dug trenches in sand, and he had a blast; Lily explored all over but REALLY wanted to climb on the wagons and tricycles brought there by other park-goers. She was pretty upset when I told her not to, and I had to nurse her to appease her. And all too soon it was time to come home and make dinner; Jack didn't want to and he really wanted to throw a fit, but he didn't. Hallelujah!

Dinner was a throw-together-whatever-makes-a-nutritious-meal night. Grocery day is Saturday and I REFUSE to go to the store otherwise; our weekly budget is $80 and I REFUSE to go over it. This makes for interesting dinners, but I see it as a challenge and had fun putting together our meal: scrambled eggs, plain noodles, salad, and smoothie. The kids loved it, and this was the first dinner in my memory that we didn't have to argue with Jack about finishing his food!

After dinner we lazed on the couch for about 15 minutes, then started bedtime: brushing teeth, flossing, pottying, putting on pajamas, saying nightly prayer, and watching a scripture video in Jack's bed and then discussing the video. Jack is getting better and better at telling the story back to us, and he will occasionally ask questions about what he doesn't understand. He often will draw parallels between the scripture story and either a secular story or something that really happened. Then I laid down with him and rubbed his feet and told him "his story", in which I rehearse everything he did that day and point out the good things, and sometimes point out what he needs to improve on. He said his favorite part of the day was playing at the park, but playing with me at home was his other favorite part. And I sang him his song, and left him with a kiss.

Tim read books to Lily in our bed while I was with Jack, and I came and she excitedly showed me the book she was looking at, then said "Mo moweee!" ("More more") and laid down. In other words, "I'm ready to nurse to sleep now!" And she did, and it was only 8:30! (She's been having trouble going to sleep at bedtime lately; we've had trouble getting bedtime started at 7 o'clock, and every time we start it late, she either conks out nursing on Jack's bed or stays up WIRED until after 10!)

My kids got lots of playtime with me, and I got to see how much they are growing up. It was a good day :D Jack is a big grown-up boy already, but when he gets more playtime with me I can see him stretch even more. He is such a delight to have around! And Lily is just growing by leaps and bounds; she's potty-training and her vocabulary is exploding. She repeats almost every one-syllable word we say, she says the name of everyone in our family ("Mommeeeee! Daddeeeeee! Gack! Yahweeee!"). Two phrases of hers that I love are "Pweese?" and "Hup me!" (help me). And she whispers "Pooooo pooooo! Peeeee peeeee!" as she runs helter-skelter down the hall to the potty. That kid is such a joy!

My kids picked their clothes. This is a usual occurrence for Jack, but Lily doesn't always, and she especially doesn't always look THIS cute in her outfit!

Hiking at Fremont Older Open Space, the closest nature preserve south of us. Tim wore Lily b/c I was wearing a baby I watch every Saturday. We go out to explore nature every Saturday, and I watch the baby every Saturday, so this time we experimented with taking him with us, and it worked quite well :D

Biking just north of Lake Chabot (pronounced "sha-BOW"), near Oakland. One of Tim's programmer friends in Oakland was throwing a party that night, so we explored the nature around Oakland :D We parked at the top of the hill, biked down as fast as we felt comfortable, and walked up. Oy!

Gratitude

I'm grumpy. I need to count my blessings:

-Lily is all better, with just a bit of a cough left over. Even that is taken care of by breathing steam from the shower for just a few minutes.

-Jack is patient and sweet, even when I'm not.

-Tim has been so helpful this last week and a half.

-There are delicious things to eat in the fridge and cabinets. Some of them are even good for me!

-This cold at its worst is not even as bad as the flu. At its best it's like not even being sick at all, with the exception of contagion keeping us house-bound.

-Our house really is lovely, and Tim tidied it all week to keep it so :D

-There are little seeds working on germinating in my garden plot!

-Lily is learning how to be free of diapers and how to dress and undress herself.

-Jack is learning alphabet letters and Articles of Faith.

-We FINALLY got a bedtime routine firmly entrenched in our home, and the kids LOVE it. They fall asleep quickly after we put them to bed, and if we stay up and try to party, they poop out on us by 8:30!

-Lily is learning how to put puzzles together, and it is so much fun to watch her dexterity improve :D

-Jack is learning how to put his computer together as Tim moves it all over the house and sets it up in different places.

-Just that I have these wonderful people in my family! They are all a delight to be around!

-We have knowledge and ability to apply it. We are healthy and happy :D

-I know God loves me and is happy with (at least some of) my efforts.

-I have scriptures printed and bound, and also in many different forms on my electronic devices. I am ALWAYS able to read them.

-I have a temple recommend (and Tim does, too). Now to coordinate babysitting on a temple trip...

I think I'll go do that now!

Lily is starting to talk!

She expands her vocabulary daily, which is such a treat for our ears! For now she says Mommy and Daddy very clearly, Narnia ("Nah-nee"), nurse ("nuhsssss"), go, no, cheese ("chsssssss"), bubble ("buh-boooo"), poo-poo, cookie ("koo-geeee"), and shoes ("shoessssss"). She likes to repeat words after we say them. She used to always do this in a whisper, but she's starting to do it in a normal voice much more. AND! She's adding signs to her repertoire at least as quickly as words. She still does "more" but she started doing "drink" this last week. She was pretty excited today to do "milk".

We've been reading The Chronicles of Narnia together. Jack enjoys the cuddling up on the couch together at least as much as reading; he simply CANNOT listen to Narnia without a blanket! Lily often nurses while we read, which may be one reason why she loves it when we read together, but it's not the only reason. I don't fully understand why she enjoys it so; perhaps she likes listening to us talk for such a long time, or she likes having our family all stay together for such a long time. But she does certainly love it; she'll bring us (me or Tim) a book in the series and say "Nahnee! Nahnee!" and sit on our laps for a good 2-10 minutes listening to us read it to her.

Jack's new habit is to demand to act out each chapter we read after we read it. He hardly remembers anything from the chapter, which proves that it's a little bit over his head, but he loves for me to tell him what each character does and remind him what his character says. He often chooses to be King Edmund or Queen Lucy, or if any of the talking animal characters figures prominently he'll choose to be that one. But he shies away from parts with lots of talking; I wonder if that's b/c he likes knowing what to do, and he doesn't usually remember what everyone said? Yesterday we acted out the chapter from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader where the travelers come to Deathwater Island. One part involved using a spear as a sounding rod to see how deep the water was, and we used a few marble-track pieces all put together to be our "spear." After we were done, Jack discovered more pieces we could have used to make our spear longer, and he said we had to do the scene over again so we could use the longer spear. He took a different role that time, since we had just done it and he knew what to do. And we went through it a little faster, b/c I didn't have to tell Jack "Now we do this," or "Now you say that." He already knew and did his parts without being cued. Hmmm, I wonder if we should act each one out twice now? I'm floored at how much better I'm remembering the story now that we're acting it out, so I'm sure he's getting more of it this way, too. He enjoys the acting out even more than the reading; he's been asking if we can go back and act out the chapters of the stories we read before we got into this habit. I told him I'd be happy to start the series over and re-read and act them all out, when we're done with it the first time through. His eyes got so wide! "We can do it AGAIN?"

I've been a little concerned with Jack's love of play-acting situations we read and watch, but his lack of interest in making up new situations. Creativity has always been a challenge of mine (which is one reason I love to knit and cook, I feel like I am successful in being creative in those areas...), and I see it is a challenge for Jack, too. But I think if I keep up with the play-acting as we're doing it, he will extend himself into making up new things.

Lily is transitioning from loving to tear up books to loving to "read" books. Hallelujah! She flips through pages and whispers or talks about all the pictures. Here's the breakthrough, though: if there's a page that's started to tear, she doesn't finish tearing it! I can now trust her with books!

We brought my Mom here for Christmas. We had a blast :D We mostly just hung out around the house, but we played games together and cooked together and did dishes together and sat and talked. I felt like we all got to know each other better. Lily was the most obvious one; when Nanna (my Mom) first came, Lily was a little wary of her, but by the time Nanna left, Lily was spontaneously hugging and kissing her often :D We soaked our feet in some bath salts Tim's sister gave me, and Lily asked Nanna to pick her up and put her feet in, too, even though I was sitting right next to her and she could have asked me to. And Jack said "I love you right up to the moon and back 4 times!" as Nanna was getting ready to leave. (He got the idea from the book "Guess How Much I Love You" by Anita Jeram and Sam McBratney, but we haven't read that book in quite some time, so yay for Jack remembering!)

We hung around here for New Year's Eve and Day, too. New Year's Eve we splurged and got the movie "Prince Caspian" since we had just finished reading that book and we have free tickets to go see "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" in theaters. (And we'll do that as soon as we're done reading the book!) We made cookies and ate them while watching the movie. Then we put the kids to bed and stayed up til midnight just to feel like grown ups (Tim worked on a software project and I cross-stitched).

Lily has a cold that is really annoying. It seems to get better and worse with no cause. And I've got it and so does Jack, so the first Sabbath of the new year and we have to stay home. Lily first got it over a week ago, but it really does seem to be just a cold, just a really annoying one, so unless she's still got it another week from now I don't think we'll go to the doc. (What would they do, give us medicine that I wouldn't want to take? Antibiotics don't help with viral illnesses, and any medicine to treat the symptoms of a cold are usually unsafe and ineffective. But if we're still sick in a week then it might be something worse than a cold.) We've got sore throats and stuffy noses, and sleeping is more difficult b/c breathing through stuffy noses is difficult. Lily's been up 3 nights of this cold, insisting on being upright. Last night was the first time, though, that she was grumpy enough to insist that her holder should stand up, so Tim and I played tag team most of the night :P I worry about a possible ear infection, but that wouldn't make her cough stick around or her nose stay stuffy.

I think the most annoying thing is not knowing what's going on, and knowing that there's probably not much I can do. Such is life, huh?

This just in: Tim just got home from church and says that Jack's teacher said Jack is one of the brightest and rowdiest kids in the class. Score!

Photos!

Our family Christmas photo. I'm so glad we realized our camera has a timer!

Lily loves to wear other people's shoes. She's been learning how to walk in mine and can now do so pretty well!

Gingerbread house from a very stale kit. Jack had a great time putting candy on it! He even spontaneously told me I did a beautiful job putting icing on the roof. AND, when we got the box out, he looked at the illustrated directions on the back and said "Step 1: squeeze icing. Step 2: put house together. Step 3: put icing on house. Step 4: put candy on house." He was "reading" the pictures of the directions. And he's doing that every time he finds illustrated directions in other things, like the seed packet we planted seeds from yesterday. (I forgot to mention! We live in Coastal Northern California, we can garden year-round here, so we planted carrots, spinach, and lettuce yesterday!) No worries about that kid's reading readiness skills!

We played Stomple, a gift from Tim's parents (we think), and when Tim took pics of the board, Lily thought he was taking pics of her and smiled so sweetly for the camera!

Right before taking Nanna to the airport. I was hoping that the foot soak might help my Mom's arthritic body handle the plane ride better, and it did! Lily saw us and came and wanted to join in. She stayed there for a few minutes, just gently swirling her feet in the warm water. And I got to cross-stitch. Yay!

How We Decided to Homeschool, Part 2

I signed Jack up for every class SHARE had in their clubs n' classes line-up, and even offered to teach one myself. He had sign language, simple cooking (which really was more like "fun with food"), and my class which was simply directed play with imaginative toys and/or games (we called it Young Explorers and we did things like put marble tracks together, play duck-duck-goose, paint with popsicles, glue yarn on little pumpkins, etc.). He never did like sign language but I was determined he was going to be in it; I kept hoping he would like it after long enough. He never hated it, but he always wanted to be outside playing instead. I don't really remember when I went from gung-ho unschooler to making Jack take a sign-language class; I think it may have been a bit of a recoil from the unschool groups that were too radical for my taste, or it may have been that I wanted to spend as much time as I could with this wonderful group of people. Either way, I don't think Jack suffered too much, but if I had to do it over again I would play with him outside instead of making him take the class. He did have lots of fun in the other classes, and he did get some time playing outside every time we met.

Then suddenly we moved to Palo Alto, California. I was excited to explore a new place, but I was appalled when I discovered that there were no homeschooling families in my stake. One mom said she had homeschooled up until that very year, and she was very happy she put her kids in public school b/c the schools there were "so good." I was asked often "Why in the world would you homeschool? The schools here are great!" I was even told more than once "Oh, you'll give up. Lots of homeschoolers give up here!" I wondered if they were right. I asked why the schools were "so good" and discovered they have shorter days, they bring in experts to do presentations to the kids, their math curriculum is all games, and they get great test scores.

But none of that mattered to me! I realized that one of my biggest reasons for wanting to homeschool was because I believe that the most important lessons children learn are at home: in the everyday interactions between family members, in the housework and chores, in the arguments and solutions, and in the scripture study. No school can teach that, no matter how well it does academics. And while yes, kids can be just fine when they go to school and are taught at home in the evenings and weekends, how much better could they do if they get to stay home? I just don't think it's as important for a 5-year-old to learn how to count to 100 as it is for him to learn to keep his little sister out of the road. He can pick up the counting later when he finds it interesting, but the character-building of watching out for his little sister will shape the man he will grow up to be. I believe that character and morality are absolutely vital, and many thousands of times more important than academics. A man with a good work ethic and study skills can learn anything he needs to know; a man with a head full of knowledge but no desire to work will only be a burden to society.

I found an LDS homeschool group, but it spanned too large an area for them to meet more often than monthly, and even that was only during the school year, and it was now summertime. I floundered; I talked to lots of moms in my ward about school and homeschool, trying to find a kindred spirit, but there was none. Everywhere I went, people would ask if Jack was in preschool and if he would start kindergarten next year; in an attempt to feel like I was doing something, I started schooling Jack at home. We did short lessons on the alphabet, colors of light, properties of water, paint, scripture stories, and playing games; we went to the library weekly and read and read and read; we visited museums and parks and playdates. And I learned that Jack can learn from lessons, even when he doesn't want to, but he learns so much better when he is interested and plays with the subject. I also learned that Jack LOVES structure! But I burned out after a few weeks; planning lessons took time from the family and I really didn't like fighting Jack to sit down with me.

I battled a nasty case of depression. Schooling, housework, exercise, and cooking all went out the window. I managed to play with my kids, and I felt like I may not be a very good homeschooler but I was doing OK as a mom. And amazingly enough, my kids did great! I don't even think they noticed that when I wasn't playing with them I was sulking in the corner, b/c I played with them every day.

I visited Texas, and felt like I was home. I spent time with SHARE and with Malina; I watched again how she runs her house and how she mothers her children. I loved watching my kids playing with Malina's kids and with the other kids in SHARE. I thought about what I had done well and what I could improve. And I decided I would do better when I got home.

And I did, after a whirlwind move to Sunnyvale! I was excited to hear that there were homeschooling families in my new stake; I emailed the one homeschooling mom in my ward and she invited us over for dinner. I discovered that she does intensive academics with her 4-year-old daughter and she sends her son to public school, then does more academics with him after school every day. I tried very hard not to cry myself to sleep that night... But the next day I played with my kids and felt better. I prayed for guidance and studied the scriptures. I tried to stop comparing myself to other homeschooling families and stop letting it bother me that I am the only person in this area with the views I have. I worked on picking back up the habits that we used to have that were good, like reading daily, and adding new ones that we needed, like chores. And I discovered that I was rather happy!

And then I decided I needed a group, and I didn't care if it was an LDS group or not. I need support and friends to bounce ideas off of, and Jack needs friends to play with. I went online and in a frenzy I joined almost every homeschool group within an hour drive. I went to a meetup with one of the groups and was so glad to find moms with ideas a lot like mine. I sat down and wrote out a weekly schedule and a daily routine; daily routine includes chores, reading time, and play time, and the weekly schedule includes library day, housecleaning day, library day, and nature day.

And then, I realized that I had not yet prayed directly about the question: Should I Homeschool? My heart racing, terrified I might get a no, I knelt. And I received sweet confirmation that God wants my family to homeschool.

That was just a couple of days ago. Since then, I re-discovered the Thomas Jefferson method of education, and wanted to jump up and dance as I read ideas that I had been forming all on my own. (This method in a nutshell: children should play, do chores, and spend time with their parents until they are old enough for formal studies sometime in their TEEN years.) I am not afraid anymore of the question "Does he start kindergarten next year?" I am not even afraid of the question "Oh, so what curriculum do you use, then?"

I have decided to give my children a longer childhood. They will learn to work, they will learn the gospel, and they will learn that our family's love is stronger than a rampaging herd of elephants. We do this by reading together, playing together, doing chores together, eating meals together, and going out and exploring together. Since I can't actually spend every waking moment with them, they have toys that inspire creative play, they have a backyard, and they have each other to play with. When they are ready to begin formal lessons, we will do that.

My house is full of peace right now. I know there will be bumps along the way, but I am not afraid of them. I have the conviction that I am doing the right thing for my family, and I have a gloriously lovely family. This week has been the pilot week of the daily routine and weekly schedule, and so far it has been a raging success. Jack loves the structure, Lily loves that we're always doing something interesting, and Tim loves coming home to a joyful house every evening. Tomorrow we'll load up as a family and go explore one of the hundreds of natural parks available to us here, and we won't have to clean house b/c the kids and I already did that yesterday. Next week I'll check out the closest unschooling group; I hope I fit in with them, but if I don't, I'll be OK. Jack has friends he can play with in the evenings, and I have friends I can talk to on the phone during the day. And the homeschooling group I've already seen is really not that bad; they are a little academic heavy, but they try not to be!

My kids are growing up so beautifully. Jack is a social butterfly with a heart as big as his native Texas: he plays with any kid or adult who's willing, and he shares his food and toys with a smile. He accidentally spent real money in an iPad app, and was very penitent when I told him he had; he watched and listened carefully when I showed him how he had done it and showed him how not to do it again, and he has followed through and not done it again. His questions get more and more mature every night when we watch a Book of Mormon story, and he's starting to remember them and link them together and make connections between them. He loves to make me happy, to a fault (!); he is learning the concept of not doing too much of a good thing. He can pick up and carry Lily, and she is sometimes OK with that, so he's learning how to tell if Lily doesn't mind him carrying her around. He is learning how to show the affection to Lily that he so desperately wants to, without making her fuss, and he is learning how to tell when she's tired, hungry, bored, or wants up or down. He is learning that I will rarely turn down an invitation to read to him, and I am learning how to tell when repeated pleas of "Will you read to me?" are really him just asking for attention! He is learning how to measure ingredients when cooking, and how to load and unload the dishwasher. He can recognize most letters of the alphabet and most numbers, and he can count to 20 if he's not thinking about it. He still loves the Chronicles of Narnia and we are halfway through the second book. He is getting good at following slightly more complex game rules and sticking with the same game for a longer period of time; he still loves to play simple board games like "The Ladybug Game". He's getting very good at eating whatever food I put in front of him and not complaining about it. He's also grown out of the stage where kids throw a fit about every thing that doesn't go their way, and it still amazes me when he takes setbacks in stride. He still loves his sister fiercely, and he is learning how to care for her even better: one day she took something from him that she didn't need to have, and his sweet blue eyes were as wide as dishplates when I explained to him that sometimes it's OK to make Lily cry when she wants something that's bad for her. He then turned to Lily and said "You can't have this by yourself, but if I keep my hand on it we can share it." And today, Lily fussed in the car, and he sang to her in a sweet, soft voice, "It's OK, Lily, you can go to sleep in the car, really you can!" He is a joy and a delight to have around!

Lily explores and investigating her world with ferocity. I rarely have to do much for her in a day except a couple of diaper changes and nursing her to sleep, b/c she just tags along and explores whatever we're doing or plays with toys or other safe objects. She loves measuring spoons and puzzles. She loves to rip paper and has been desecrating quite a few library books lately. She sometimes takes personal offense when I tell her "Uh-oh!" and cries as if her heart is breaking. She only very rarely wants to be cuddled, but she's learned that she just has to put up with it from me! She still loves her Daddy and still usually prefers him to me, but I am taking a larger share of her heart and she will prefer me to him more than she used to, and not even just when she's tired! She can put puzzle pieces in correctly and she can put on Jack's shoes, and sometimes she can get her own shoes on her feet. She loves to take her socks off but can't take her pants off yet, which is good b/c if she could she'd be naked all day! She refuses to get out of bed until Tim and I have made a "tent" out of our blanket by holding it up over all of our heads. She still will go potty right after waking up, and she still refuses to go potty any other time b/c she is too busy exploring; if I push the potty issue too hard she pushes right back and refuses to even go after waking, so I am learning to back off (you'd think I'd have that one learned by now!). She will request a diaper change by patting her diaper, and she almost always lies nice and still while I change her. She LOVES the bath, and playing with water in the sink, too; in fact, I did dishes the other day with just her b/c Jack was busy eating, and after she saw me rinse dishes and put them in the dish drain, she started copying me and rinsed a wooden spoon and put it in the dish drain. I almost cried, I was so touched and thrilled that my 18-month-old daughter was helping me with dishes! She is lengthening her attention span and will watch a movie with us for a few minutes before going back to exploring; she'll sit still and have a book read to her, too, as long as the book isn't too verbose! She has learned how much we love it when she gives us kisses, and will occasionally fill a few minutes going back and forth between each of us, kissing us over and over and over. She has opinions about the clothes that she wears, whether it is squealing and dancing when I put her favorite shirt on her or tugging and fussing at a shirt she doesn't like; I often give her a choice between two outfits for this reason, but sometimes she's too busy exploring to make a choice so I have to make it for her. She is getting old enough to be disciplined gently, and was rather offended when I held her in my lap after she pulled Jack's hair last night!

They may not be academically advanced (or they may be, and I really don't care either way), but they are compassionate, gentle, obedient, and happy, and they know some very important things about God and love. Our family is in a good place right now.

Photos from the playground behind the art museum today:

Jack wasn't too thrilled that the camera was out again, but he was a good sport and tried to pose. (I say "tried to" b/c he wanted to play so badly he simply could not hold still!)

Lily posed! She was imitating her brother :D

And she was done posing!

So now Jack had to get in on the action and posed again for a nice shot!

(I'm sorry my posts are always so long...)

How we decided to homeschool, part 1

I couldn't help but consider homeschooling when I realized what kind of kid Jack is. I didn't want him to be the recipient of any labels of any kind in a school. I didn't want teachers to not appreciate how perfect he is. But I tried to be against the idea; I tried to think that school would be the better option. I really did! But the homeschooling idea just kept on coming back. We would go to a playdate and he would cling to my leg instead of going out and playing, and the other moms would comment on his unique behavior, and the thoughts in my head were of how lovely it was that I didn't feel like he had to be like all the other kids his age and I didn't want him to ever feel like he needed to be any different from the way he was. I wanted him to grow up naturally, without being shaped or molded by a teacher or school that was less than what he needed.

I couldn't overlook the examples I had in friends who homeschooled their children, and how lovely those children were. Isabel and Alexa were two girls who lived in our ward when Jack was a baby; the first time we ever left him with babysitters and came home to find him happy, they were the sitters. They were 11 and 13 at the time, I believe, but they were so very responsible and mature. I felt like I could trust them with anything and they wouldn't let me down. They were easy to talk to, and they showed so much love to my sweet little boy that I couldn't help but love them. And they were homeschooled.

Malina moved into our ward just a few months after we did. Her boys were 3 and 5 when Jack was just starting Nursery (so he was about 18 months). At first her boys terrified me b/c they were so hard to control (for me as a Primary teacher, at least) and they had boundless energy. But I could see right away how very happy they were; I asked her for advice on how to best teach her oldest son and she told me that he may be running around the room but he would still be listening. So I tried my hardest to not constantly tell him to sit still and be quiet; I of course had to sometimes, but I did see that when I let him move and fidget a little, he was willing to listen to me when I did have to tell him to be still. And so, I began to learn what normal children are like, and I began to love Malina's boys.

I was called as Malina's visiting teacher, and in visits to her house I got to see how she mothered her children. Her boys were loud and rowdy, but were very obedient and loving. They loved Jack, and he loved to watch them play but he was a little nervous about playing with them for a while!

Malina introduced me to the concept of not only homeschooling, but unschooling, or delight-directed learning. She (and many others) proposed that children who are never told what and when to study will naturally study the things they find interesting, and will learn much more and faster than if they are only allowed to study what a teacher says they can. The thought made so much sense to me, but it was just so radical I had a hard time accepting it. She had a logical answer for all my "But what if..." questions, and I decided to give it a go. (Keep in mind that even at this point, Jack wasn't even 3 yet!) Child-led learning flows pretty easily when most of the patterns in our home are child-centered. I went to the park with some unschooling groups but had a hard time feeling like I fit in. I make some pretty radical choices in my parenting but most of my other lifestyle choices are conservative; a lot of the families in the unschooling groups I met seemed radical all across the board. One day a rude little boy made my sweet Jack so angry he kicked the rude boy, and I never went back.

I found a group of LDS homeschoolers (called SHARE) and went to the park to meet them. They were so welcoming and sweet to me, and Jack loved the kids from the get-go. I looked over towards the playground at one point and was horrified to see Jack perched high up on a boulder that overlooked the playground; standing right next to him, though, was a teenage boy that belonged with the group. I watched, and the boy kept an eye on Jack and helped him down after a few minutes. I asked the moms about their educational philosophies and they said they leaned towards unschooling. I was hooked! I told Malina she needed to check out that group, and I joined.

Then I had Lily :D

All this time, I'd been praying for guidance about whether or not to homeschool. I never asked the question of the Lord directly b/c I was afraid of the answer, but I pondered an awful lot. I researched available literature on how homeschooled kids fare in life versus schooled kids. I constantly watched the kids of my homeschooling friends and imagined my kids growing up like them. I especially loved having friends with teenagers, b/c I could see just how well they had grown up! I really started to like the idea.

Tim stood behind me all this time. He said he thought homeschooling was more work than I realized, and that I would set my standards too high and not be able to do as well as I wanted. He said he would love it if I could, but he didn't want me to be terribly distraught if I ended up "giving up" and sending our kids to school. He constantly played devil's advocate and asked how school could really be that bad. But every time that I felt like he wasn't on my side, he reassured me that he wanted what I wanted, he just had questions, and we never fought over it. (I loved the conversation we had when I explained to him the premise behind unschooling. He said "Oh! Then I was unschooled in my after-school time, and look how well that turned out!" He started programming when he was 9 and now makes a 6-figure income, that's how well it turned out!)

Us in October 2007 (Jack was about 18 months)

Isn't he so handsome? And Tim doesn't look too bad, either!

Next post: getting started with Jack's "school" too young, moving to California, and finally growing up

Today was full of fun!

Started the day with the discovery that I lost 2 pounds; I decided yesterday to make a goal of losing 35 pounds in 35 weeks, so this was very heartening :D

Decided to get the day started right, with chores getting done quickly instead of wandering around wondering what to do next and telling the kids I couldn't play with them b/c I was busy. Made eggs with bell peppers, onions, and mushrooms, and wrapped them in whole-wheat tortillas with cheese and (organic) ketchup. Oh heaven! And when we were done eating breakfast, it was only 8 o'clock! So we played duck-duck-goose, and had a blast :D
While eggs were cooking, Jack was being mischievous, so I gave him the chore of unloading the dishwasher. I've previously refrained from giving him that chore b/c he would have to stand on a stool to put up dishes and I thought that was too hard. He did fabulously, with minimal complaining :D

The things I'm focusing on right now for Jack are training him to do chores, to not give up, to think creatively, and to learn the stories of the scriptures.
-I'm learning to slow down and help him learn how to help me do all my chores, and he and I are both loving it; we get more time together and he feels helpful and important and loved, and he learns, and I love having his company.
-When he is having a hard time doing something, I encourage him to keep trying. I might offer him advice, but I don't rush in and do it for him; this is a change from before, when I would do things for him to avoid a screaming fit. He's not a baby anymore, thankfully, and he's doing pretty well with this. I love to see his excitement when he conquers a difficult task!
-When he asks me a question that I think should be obvious, I try not to berate him for asking a dumb question, give him the answer, or ignore him (things that I have been doing). I try to ask him questions that will lead him to the answer, or ask him to consider his question and tell me the answer. Also, when we watch a story (from the Book of Mormon Stories DVD) and act it out, if he doesn't know what comes next, I don't tell him, I make him go back to the iPad and watch it again so he can remember what happens. I do this b/c he has actually regressed in his story-telling skills; when he was 2 he could rehearse those stories with astonishing accuracy, but now he rarely remembers the beginning or end. I've been jogging his memory by reminding him of what he forgot, but I've been alarmed at how little he's been remembering of the stories he's been watching. My thought was that he was getting so used to me filling in for him that he wasn't trying anymore, so I'm not filling in for him anymore and we'll see what happens.
-And that's how we're learning the stories of the scriptures. Currently only the Book of Mormon Stories DVD is on the iPad, but someday we'll have the Stories from the Old Testament, New Testament, and Doctrine and Covenants too. He'll probably prefer the Book of Mormon Stories for a while, just b/c he prefers familiarity, but we'll work on that. We watch one every night before bed and he has to rehearse it back to us so we know he got it, and then he has the option of watching more before he falls asleep. We also watch them together as an activity during the day, and then act them out; Jack has discovered the joy of acting, and it's so much fun to watch him try so hard to remember his part!

Sent Tim off to work on time. He is so wonderful and he loves spending time with us, so he's really bad about hanging around here and not showing up to work until 10 or 11 or 12..... but then he has to stay late to make up that lost time, and I would MUCH MUCH MUCH rather have him home in the evenings than in the mornings, so I kick him out by 9 :D

Then Jack asked if we could play chase, and I said we could. I chased him, he chased me, I chased him, he chased me, and Lily followed us and giggled; then she fussed and I picked her up and she didn't smile, so I asked her if she was ready for her nap and she nodded. Silly girl takes her nap between 9:30 and 10am!

After I got her asleep, I read a chapter in The Magician's Nephew (the real first book in the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis) to Jack. This was an idea of mine to copy my friend Malina who reads long chapter books to her homeschooled boys while her toddler naps; I wasn't sure Jack was old enough but I decided it would be fun to try. At first I was much more excited than Jack was, but I think he's warming up to it, b/c later in the day he asked if we could read more of it. yay!

Then I attempted to pay bills. We expected to get Tim's sign-on bonus with this paycheck, so I was rather dismayed when I checked our account online and discovered that it wasn't there. I ended up just playing on facebook and wasting time...

But I did get supper started, beans and rice :D

After Lily woke, we ate lunch. We had apples, and I had a soynut-butter and jelly sandwich that I cut a piece of and shared with Lily. She LOVES it when I give her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, so I was really excited to see that she enjoyed the soynut-butter as much as peanut butter. She's too young to have peanuts yet; when we gave Jack peanuts too early he developed a peanut sensitivity. Thankfully it went away after taking out the peanuts from his diet, but I'd rather not make that same mistake again with Lily!

Then we headed over to our old apartment to check the mail and look at the walls that our landlady said looked so bad they'd cost $350 to patch and re-paint. Decided to just do it myself, and warned her that we won't be able to pay rent this month til next paycheck. I'm really grateful that she was so nice about that, she said I'd have to talk to the bookkeeper but she's pretty sure there will be no problem. Visited one of my neighbors there, the one with the trampoline in her backyard, and actually got on it with Jack and Lily and jumped and jumped and jumped and had a great time! Went to the dentist to get more MI paste, the stuff I put on their teeth that both hardens their enamel and discourages bacterial growth. Then went to the paint store to get the paint and nail-hole-filler; poor Lily was NOT happy about getting in and out of the car so many times, but we had to go to 3 different stores to find everything.

Came home and Lily asked to nurse, and then fell asleep doing so. So Jack asked if we could read more of our book. Not iPad, not food, but The Magician's Nephew was his first request. Score! We read THREE WHOLE CHAPTERS before my mouth was sore and I had to quit, and Jack wanted more! So I reminded him that he has a marble track he can play with when Lily's asleep, and he happily did so while I finished supper. Tim came home and Lily woke up grumpy, but he held her and she warmed up. She loves her Daddy! I finally finished de-boning the Thanksgiving turkey while supper simmered, and felt so accomplished!

Ate supper. It was quite yummy: beans and rice, a staple in our home, but with celery and cajun seasoning this time. Jack ate his, Lily enjoyed hers, and Tim always loves my food, so I was happy :D And Tim made a peanut-butter and banana smoothie to drink with our meal; I didn't get much of mine b/c both of my kids wanted it, but I guess it's more important to feed my kids healthy food than to horde it for myself. After dinner, kids played happily while I made hot chocolate by melting dark chocolate in milk and adding sugar; Jack was excited but ended up not liking it b/c it was too rich! I had just a teeny bit, Tim diluted his with cold milk, and Lily said it was weird to drink something that was warm. So Jack had a mint chocolate chip milkshake instead, and Lily fished all the chocolate chips out of his cup; they then ran all over the house shrieking and squealing and playing together while I put away some clean dishes.

And then suddenly they were both tired! I got Lily all ready for bed and nursed her to sleep while Jack watched Book of Mormon Stories, then when she was down I discovered Jack was asleep as well. Poor kid, he missed his bedtime story (we talk about all the good things we did and what our favorites were).

And now it's my turn to go to bed! Tim is working on some pretty piece of work for an upcoming conference. If I ask him to tell me about it in detail, I'll conk right out...

Photos!

Jack on her Grandpa's lap (Tim's dad, Brian). She always stares really hard at him when we visit; our theory is that since Tim looks a lot like his dad, she just can't get enough of the face her dad's is patterned after :D

(This really isn't the best picture of him, he really is a handsome fellow, but it's a good one of Lily!)

The Lily Flower and Jack the Ninja Turtle at the Halloween Party in Dallas. Lily loved her costume and asked to wear it over and over again afterwards; Jack borrowed this costume from Malina b/c the one I bought for him wasn't what he wanted :P

Road Trip to Utah!

We took a road trip to go visit Tim's grandparents in Orem, Utah, the first weekend in September. We planned it as a trial run, so that we would see how Lily might do on a road trip to Texas later :D

Packing up was an all-night event. I decided that this time, I was going to have a clean house before we left, gosh darn it! (We always have goals to do all the dishes and laundry before we leave on a trip, but we NEVER do, and we always have such a let-down coming home!) Between cleaning and packing and that ever-present feeling of forgetting something, I didn't go to bed at all the night before we left. And we left early in the morning, 4:15am! (The plan was to get a few hours of driving done before the kids woke, so we might make it there faster. It was the best compromise between driving overnight and not leaving until dawn.)

The kids were so excited; we warned them the night before that they'd wake up in the car. (Jack sometimes has a hard time handling surprises, so we warn him beforehand whenever we think a surprise might upset him.) So, they felt us lifting their sleeping bodies up to put them in the car, and they woke right up! Luckily they were happy, and ended up going back to sleep after an hour.

We stopped and breakfasted as soon as we got to Nevada. Got back on the road and Lily threw up her breakfast. YUCK! Took off the carseat cover, changed her clothes, got back on the road. She threw up again. Oh no, this girl gets motion sickness! (She threw up on the way home from the beach, both of the last two times we went, and both times I attributed it to other circumstantial factors.) So we made more frequent stops, and tried to put easily washed blankets down under her, and made it to Utah with only one or two more incidents, at 8pm.

We had so much fun hanging out with Tim's grandparents :D I love Tim, who happens to be just like his mother, so I love his mother too. Well, she's not too much unlike her own parents, so of course I rather like them too! We cooked and cleaned kitchen together, we toured the garden again, we chatted, we saw Tim's aunt and uncle that live right next door and another aunt and uncle that live across town, and we spent time with Tim's sister who just had a baby.

(And I am disappointed in myself that I never thought to go take care of her postpartum like I'm planning on doing for my friend in Dallas. I think it was just that the friend DID live just around the corner from me when she got pregnant, and so the plans were laid before we ever knew we were moving away. But next time a sister-in-law of mine has a baby, she will have the option of my help after the birth!)

Jack and Lily enjoyed playing on the steps in their house, and the movies they have there that Tim got to watch as a kid. Jack enjoyed the jacuzzi bathtub, and got his first-ever bubble bath. Put regular baby soap into the water right in front of the jacuzzi intake, and you get a MONSTER bubble bath!

We left at about 5am to come home. We turned Lily's carseat to be facing forward, and Tim sat next to her and helped her to look up and forward instead of down inside the car.We made great time, stopping once in Utah and once or twice in Nevada. But the entire state of California was a traffic jam! It was Labor Day weekend, and there are lots of state and national parks there at the eastern edge of the state that people were driving home from. We stopped multiple times, and had a pretty cranky toddler by the time we got home, but we got home by 9pm and were so happy to have a clean home! And, turning Lily's seat around and helping her look up, worked, and we made it home with no vomit :D

And then I bought a plane ticket to Texas :D I arrive at 5:35pm on Saturday, October 2nd, and will hopefully go straight to visit my in-laws in Texarkana. I'd like to get 2 visits in before I have to come home, and Malina doesn't want me too far from Dallas when her baby is due, so I'd better get that first visit in as soon as I get there so I don't manage to miss her baby's birth :D Then I'll go visit again after the baby is born and before I come back home.

I am SO excited to go see my best friend and see our kids play together again. I have to be careful not to talk to Jack about it too much, b/c I don't want to make him as homesick as I am, but when I do ask him if he's excited to see Lorn and Hal, he says "I want to see them RIGHT NOW! I can't wait!" I worry that I won't be very helpful while I'm there; I want to do all her laundry and dishes and help her to welcome her newest child in peace and joy, but I'm barely hanging on to my own duties right now. But that's a whole nother post ;)

Picasa album of road trip pictures!

San Francisco and Node Knockout

Tim's work is dealing with some revolutionary programming called Node.js. It's javascript on the server, which is remarkable b/c it always before only ran in the browser. Tim understands it pretty well and has been helpful in getting it publicized and in shaping its development. The guy who started it lives in San Francisco, and that is the biggest reason we now live here. Node is growing like crazy, and we hope it will be our ticket to fame and fortune someday, but for now it is still beta and changing too often to be doable for a large business. (So, that said, Tim's job is to make sure that with all this growing and changing, Node ends up being something that his company can use for their software; they get an inside voice in an awesome new platform, and Tim gets paid to work on Node. Win-Win!)

Anyway, Tim got to be a judge in a Node contest on August 27th. We got to go up to the City (AKA San Francisco) and explore while Tim was at another company (also in the City) chatting it up with the Noders. We took these pics there near Ghirardelli Square:

Lily was rather sleepy... but Jack was happy to try to help her! He loved exploring and had to be reminded a couple of times to stay close. I finally had to remind him that there are horrible people in the world who steal children, but he's safe as long as he stays close. He was MUCH better at keeping close after that :D

A statue of a mermaid nursing her merbaby would only be found in San Francisco, hippie capital of the world :D

We donated money to the street musicians and danced to their music, explored the boutique shops with frilly girl dresses and neat European toys, and were headed down to the beach when Tim called and said that some other guys had their kids there and he'd like us to come, too. So we went to spend some time with him and eat free food :D We walked into the building and were greeted by little boys between Jack's and Lily's age, playing on their Daddies' smartphones. It cracked me up, but made me feel a little better, seeing that other programmers' kids also get their fair share of computer know-how :P (As a side note, simply being the kid of a programmer is rather rare. Most programmers don't reproduce. We're not going to repeat here the jibes about the social skills or lack thereof.)

Jack had a blast playing on the arcade-game machines the company had there, I had a blast eating the food, and Lily had a blast napping, nursing, and playing with the ping-pong balls :D I even got to knit a little! At the end of the evening they had live music. It was a rock concert, in a typical business office. I found the whole idea hilarious :D Like a typical rock concert, it was LOUD. They had free earplugs for our protection :D I put some in, I put some in Jack's ears and he liked them, I put some in Lily's ears and she didn't like them. Jack and Lily loved dancing in the very front, until Lily found the little amps all taped on the floor in front of the band, and nothing I did could distract her from trying to investigate those, so we had to say goodbye to the live music and go back to the arcade games.

We went back the next day for more free food :D

Diplomas!

Tim got his paper in the mail. You know, the one that is pitifully small and insignificant-looking compared to the hours of blood sweat and tears that went into getting it? We're not sure if you call it a diploma or a degree, but it's on our wall whatever it is :D

Tim did the framing and the arranging. And he sweetly put up my piece of paper from FIVE YEARS AGO, too :D (He also did the artwork on the photo; it's a pic from New Years' Day that he did some neat little photoshopping on.)

In case I've never mentioned it, Tim's degree is in Software Engineering, mine is just a Bachelor of Science. I did the work to get a degree in Biology and a degree in Chemistry, and was told by some administrator at the school that I would indeed receive two papers since I received two degrees, but I only got one and it doesn't even say what it is. So disappointing.

I have hope for my education. I sometimes despair and think I've forgotten everything, but sometimes I get a chance to talk to someone about basic science and see how little they know about it, so even if I've forgotten everything Dr. Suggs taught me in Instrumental Analysis, I still know more about biology and chemistry than the average person. Is it bad that that makes me feel good?

Jack loves to check out "body books" (books about the human body) from the library, and go through them with me pointing to everything and asking me all about it. He loves to learn about how the body works. I did, too, when I was his age; if my education does nothing more than ignite my children's curiosity to learn about the way they work, it will be worth it :D I remember being fascinated by my mom's college physics book, and a book of hers that had pop-ups of the chambers of the heart, the chest cavity, the eye, the abdominal cavity, skeletal muscles, etc. I've always credited that book with my love of learning about anatomy, but seeing how much Jack loves learning it, I'm thinking it was inborn.

Next post: San Francisco and Node Knockout!

My birthday!

I turned 26 yesterday!

We tidied the house in the morning, which I was very happy to do b/c it was a wreck and completely unenjoyable. Tim cleaned with gusto, which he always does, but it was still extra nice b/c it was my birthday and he was cleaning house :D

After Lily woke from her nap, we had cake (chocolate with chocolate ganache and chocolate chips!) and Tim and Jack sang Happy Birthday (which was awful, just like they do at his mom's house!), and I opened my present: Ball N Roll! We played with it and had a blast, then went to Foothills Park, the nature preserve open only to Palo Alto residents. We hacked our way up a hill, turned around when the underbrush got too thick, and discovered that we could "ski" down the soft dirt and got down in about 2 minutes flat!

We went to another spot in the park where we had a beautiful view of the Bay, then drove back into town for a little get-together of the young couples in our ward. We got frozen yogurt! Then we came home and tried to put Lily to bed, but she refused, so we played with my new toy for a couple more hours, then fell into bed.

And today, we all slept in. I got out of the shower to discover Lily had crawled over to Jack and was lying on her tummy with her head on Jack's bum; I thought she was all the way awake, but when I picked her up she laid her head on my shoulder and went back to sleep! I let her sleep for a few minutes, then laid her on the bed and she stayed asleep! I took her onesie off to put her dress on, and she stayed asleep! I put her dress on her, and she stayed asleep still! (Now, I did all of this as gently as I could, I wasn't TRYING to wake her, but still, she should have woken up!) I picked her up and laid her in her carseat, and she woke a little and went back to sleep again! Drove to church and let Tim pick her up and hold her, and she stayed asleep another 20 minutes or so. And when she finally woke, she woke groggy and grumpy; we fed her cheerios, which always helps, but she was still not a happy girl for the rest of the 3 hours we were there.

(On a side note, I'm pretty proud of myself and my family. We got up at 8 am and left the house at 9am, and actually got to take the sacrament.)

I got to help out in Jack's class again today. It was a little harder, there were more kids in the class today and there was one little boy who was having a hard time. He missed his mom, and he didn't want to cuddle anyone else but her, and he didn't like being told what to do. We had to be careful to be extra nice to him; had a really hard time when he and Jack were playing and neither one of them would listen to me and the teacher, but she had a great idea and put the other boy's chair next to hers at the front of the class, and we had peace.

And now there is quiet in our house as the kids play and Tim sleeps and I blog and knit :D

Let's not make a habit of this.

Today was hard from start to finish.

If you don't want to read a bunch of whining and venting, stop now.

I hate california. I hate everything about it. No amount of beauty and nice weather is worth living here. I hate Tim's job, I hate my new ward, I hate my neighborhood, I hate my new living arrangement, I hate my new bedroom, (I do happen to like my new kitchen, except for the fact that there's NO DISHWASHER), I hate all the ugly carpet in my new apartment, I hate the culture here.

Poor Jack. We woke up late this morning, had a commitment to get to at 9:30am. Jack doesn't do well when he's rushed, and I don't do well when I'm ignored. Tim played referee between us, but poor Jack was still sniffling when we got to our appointment at 9:45, and I felt like the worst mother on earth.

But the thing went really well! It was a photography camp for 4-year-olds. I thought it was rather ambitious, expecting 4-year-olds to do well with digital cameras, but they did, and they had a blast. I stayed there for the first hour and a half (half out of guilt for making his morning so miserable, half b/c I just don't leave my kids anywhere ever). They talked about the parts of a camera, the difference between blurry photos and clear photos, how to handle a camera, where the camera focuses, and then I left. While I was gone they went outside and took pictures, then ate lunch. Jack was adventurous and ate a blueberry! (And I realize now I forgot to ask him how he liked it. I guess he didn't like it much or he would have eaten more than one!)

I went to a La Leche League meeting for about an hour. It was alright. Got to help out a new mom who felt like she was nursing all the time; told her that was normal and nothing to worry about, then gave her some suggestions for hands-free breastfeeding so she won't mind it (always being attached to the baby) so much :D I happened to have paper and pen in my hand while we were all throwing suggestions at her, so I wrote them all down for her. Yay me!

Silly Lily fell asleep there. I tried to keep her awake so she could fall asleep after I picked Jack up, but she got really mad at me for that, so I let her sleep. And thankfully, she stayed asleep when I put her in the car, while I waited to pick Jack up, when I took her out of the car, and only woke up a little when I laid her down in the bed. So I laid down next to her and nursed her back to sleep and took a nap with her, too! And poor Jack was left all alone with his cartoons. He doesn't even remember what he watched (99% chance it was something OK), so that tells me he didn't enjoy it much.

I tried to salvage the day by playing with the kids. And that really was the highlight of my day. We played with the dominoes, then played another game together. And the kids played happily while I talked on the phone with a good friend, so that was nice. (And the highlight of that conversation: I told her I'm burned out a bit and not doing any "school" this week, and she said "Good! You're supposed to take a break when you need it!")

We went to the Stanford shopping center to look at the fountains there. I always feel so ugly when I go there; all those upscale clothing stores and their dressed-up manequins, and the shoppers that go there all dressed so much nicer than me, with their hair and makeup and nails all done. And I realized what I hate about this place so much: there is such a segregation between kid-friendly and not kid-friendly. The places that are kid-friendly are GREAT. FABULOUS. WONDERFUL. The places that aren't kid-friendly, I'll be the only silly mom there with my kids, and it just sucks.

Again, I hate california.

Tonight was a "Ladies Night Out" with some of the moms. Here's another reason I hate my ward: the relief society (the women's organization) never provides babysitting at their activities, and they never have kid-friendly activities. So, again, I was the only one with my kids. And no matter how good they were, they were still kids with active minds and bodies, and I hardly got anything out of the evening. (Except maybe an appreciation for how well-behaved my kids are, but by then I was so sulky I hardly even noticed. Poor kids.) I really think next time I'll just stay home. In fact, I'm really tired of trying to make friends here, so I think I'll just stop trying. (Really, I won't, but it feels good to type it...)

Tim's job rocks. He's a celebrity. He gets to ride his scooter up to "the city" (the term for San Francisco around here. Interestingly enough, they despise the nickname "Frisco".) to eat lunch or dinner with his buddies, and that's part of his job. He gets to fly to Germany to speak at a world-famous conference, and that's part of his job. He gets to do work that he enjoys so much that he did it for free for a month when he was bored of the jobs in Texas. It's really hard not to hate him for having so much fun here.

At least my kids went to bed well. We got home and they were both exhausted. Lily even happily let me brush her teeth (she usually fights it). Jack climbed right into bed as soon as we walked in the door. Nursing Lily to sleep took no more than 10 minutes. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have such delightful children.

This was Lily on the grass by the fountain:

And the rest of the pics from today are in another Picasa album.

Happy Six Years!

We were united in marriage 6 years ago :D

From the day I demanded to be introduced to him at that stake dance 11 1/2 years ago, I had a crush on him. I thought he was way too good for me. (With one exception), The only guys who showed any interest in me were the ones with nefarious intentions :P Then, 5 years later, we found out that we both liked each other! We settled things quickly enough :)

In 6 years of marriage, we have moved 4 times (and that is counting the first move into our first apartment). We've borne, birthed, and brought up 2 delightful children. We've laughed, screamed, pouted, giggled, tickled, vegetated, cuddled, and worked side by side. We've grown together, which we all know isn't the most fun thing in the world, but worthwhile. And by the blessing of heaven, as we've grown, we've loved each other more.

I don't know about Tim, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I wish I could convey in words what this last 6 years have done for me, but it is simply impossible. Heavenly Father gave me a life I did not come close to deserving, and I will be forever grateful.

To celebrate, we went to Rubio's, then drove over the "hills" to Montara beach, then came back and ate cake and ice cream and ordered gigantic New York pizzas. I kinda had the idea that our kids should enjoy our anniversary as much as we do, since it was our marriage that brought them into this world :D I think they had fun; I know we did!

We had a blast at the beach. We played with the sand, watched the waves beat on the sand, watched surfers, got our feet wet (but no more than our feet, b/c the riptides there are so strong and the beach slopes so sharply that people have literally been swept away and drowned when they got deep enough to be wading in the water...), hiked and climbed, chased and tickled and played freeze tag, joined a game of kickball, and took lots of pictures!

We came home and ate chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream, from the awesomest grocery store in the world, Trader Joe's. (We figured, birthdays are anniversaries of birth, why not do cake and ice cream on anniversaries of marriage?) We ordered the biggest pizzas we'd ever seen from New York Pizza. Those things are 2 feet across! We watched Anastasia on Netflix. And now it's the end of the day. I'm working on uploading the pics to Picasa to share with everyone :D

BUT! Lily was very cute yesterday and I took pics :D so here is one of those! (It was a strange day, Jack napped while Lily was wired and hyper and happy!)

"I'm not sleepy, Mom!"

I'll put up the link to the Picasa album when that is done :)

Flying Solo at Church; Jack Learning to Read

I gave a talk today in church. It was quite interesting; Tim is still getting over the flu, so he stayed home, and since he's still getting over the flu, he couldn't watch the kids for me. I hoped to be able to sit next to a mom I knew, so she could watch the kids while I gave my talk. My kids' temperaments are such that I can leave them in a pew and they'll do fine, I just wanted to make sure someone I knew would be in charge so that IF something went wrong, they'd be taken care of. I ended up leaving home late, which greatly lowered my chances of even getting to sit in the chapel at all, so when I got there and there was an open spot right next to a mom I know, I rejoiced! I breakfasted my kids while the first speaker gave his talk, then I got up and gave my talk (which I'll post later), and my kids did great! Jack sat and listened (and told me later he wasn't able to listen to all of it, which I thought was cute), and Lily did too until the guy sitting behind her was unable to resist her overwhelming cuteness. He picked her up and sat her in his lap, and she immediately crumpled into tears! Poor kid, poor guy! So the mom I sat next to took her out; luckily I could see that she was fine, or I would have had to stop RIGHT THEN. But within a few seconds, HER daughter was crying! Her older kids took care of their youngest sister, but it wasn't good enough. I ended with my testimony and skedaddled :D And Lily was fine, and my friend's daughter was fine too. So my talk wasn't quite long enough, but I was able to give every last word that I had prepared, so I would have ended soon whether there were crying daughters or not. (I guess the crying kids just saved the congregation from my rambling to take up time!)

THEN I got to help with Jack's class! That was AWESOME! I was a little worried he'd be clingy and disobedient, the way he was back in Texas when I was called to Primary and was in there with him every week. But he did great :D He hugged and kissed me goodbye, hugged and kissed Lily goodbye, sat in his spot, then noticed that I was still there in the back, and he wanted to come sit with me. I told him he still needed to sit with his class and he didn't argue, and sat with his class and participated. They did a memory game, with kids coming up to take turns playing, and Jack called out a couple of times that he wanted a turn, but he never got one, and he didn't fuss about it at all. Then his class went to their classroom, and I was amazed he did so well there too. His teacher had a love for her students that they could feel, and they behaved really well for her. She didn't seem to have any groundbreaking ideas for keeping them in line (which I was expecting since she took Jack from whiny clingy disobedient to happy cheerful obedient), just love and the Holy Ghost. (Maybe her usual helper is the magic-worker, but she's on vacation and it's her job I was filling.) She expected them all to raise their hands to speak, which I never would have thought of since they're all FOUR YEARS OLD, but she just reminded them gently at the beginning of class, then ignored them if they didn't raise their hands. She never had to remind them again, and none of them cried or fussed about being ignored. She rewarded them with stars by their names on the chalkboard; one of the girls tried to get competitive about that ("I've got more stars than you do!"), which is exactly why I wouldn't be using stars by names, but she was the only one who tried and she forgot about it after a while. So it worked out pretty well, and they got lots of stars :D

A couple of times, I was tempted to remind Jack not to do nasty 4-year-old things like lick his hands and pick his nose, but then I noticed that other kids were doing similar nasty things and I wouldn't dream of asking them not to (unless it was REALLY nasty...), so I refrained. I remembered that the very first time I was in Primary with Jack, I treated him like I would have treated any Primary kid, and it went fabulously. I lost that idea somewhere in the following months, and his behavior (and mine) deteriorated :(

Tim's better! He's about 90% or so. He's still weak, and gets tired easily if he over-exerts himself, but he's fever-free and cheerful :D He first came down with it Thursday-ish, though, so he's supposed to be quarantined until Tuesday regardless of how well he feels (flu is considered contagious until 48 hours after last fever, or 5 days after first fever, whichever comes last). I didn't let him go home teaching today, or wash the car (yes, he wanted to go wash the car. Seriously. He can't hold Lily for very long, but he thinks he can scrub the car by hand. ????), but since he came down with this flu at work and probably got it from his coworkers, I'll let him go to work tomorrow if he's still feeling great. (I probably have enough power to keep him home if I really insist on it, but I'd have to have a good reason, and I don't! Marriage isn't about power struggles anyway :D)

I cross-stitched! I'm getting into a bit of a habit of crafting a bit on Sundays. I have to be careful to not let Tim do all the childcare while I craft, which is hard b/c I love knitting/crocheting/sewing/stitching/etc., but I can do it if I put forth the effort. Today I picked up my cross-stitch Christmas stocking again, for the first time in a year or so, and I'm so glad I did. I'd love to get it done by this Christmas! Jack is getting old enough to pick his stocking out, so I'd love to get on to that :D I can't wait to be making something for my son. I crocheted diaper covers for him when he was a baby, but that's really not the same! He was a baby, and honestly the diaper cover was more for my appreciation than for his.

Speaking of making things for my kids, I've decided I want to make scrapbooks for them. One scrapbook for each kid, documenting the important things of their lives for them to remember when they're grown and gone. Ambitious? I figure no one scrapbook will take up much of my time at once; the big investment will be catching up Jack's to his 5th year and Lily's to her 2nd (remember, we celebrate birthdays at the END of a year, so after our birthday we start working on our next year, ie my 4-year-old son is in his fifth year and my 1-year-old daughter is in her second year :D). I think that'll be fun; I've never been much for scrapbooking, preferring to make a digital photo book and have it printed, but I like the idea of a scrapbook for each of my kids. A dear friend of mine keeps a journal for each of her kids that is in the form of letters to them; she writes in them periodically when they do something noteworthy. I think that is just so neat, but I want pictures to be saved too, so scrapbook it is.

I'm having fun creating things :D I've never thought of myself as a creative person at all, so I'm really pleased to discover that I am, and I'm actually good at some of it :D

Tim's only older sibling, Jessica, had a baby at 1:26 this morning! I have got to be the most excited person about this (except her and her husband and their daughter and their respective parents, of course). I love how so many bits of her experience were so much like mine: her first was early, and born in the hospital. Her second was a healthier pregnancy b/c of better nutrition, and was born at home, and was a week late, all just like me (except my second was one day later than hers, but that's a very minor detail). I told her yesterday that I didn't mind a phone call at 3am to tell me the good news; sure enough, my phone rang at 3:12am! I had kiddos to take care of (nursing Lily back to sleep, then taking Jack to the potty), but once they were back to sleep I called her back. It was so fun to talk to her at 4am about birth and a new baby and just get to share her joy :D

I'm so baby-hungry, btw. I keep noticing pregnancy symptoms that my body is faking, I want a baby so badly. I dream of being pregnant, I even dreamed of adopting a 3-year-old! Chances are 96% that I won't conceive until my cycle starts again; it started when Jack was past his second birthday, so I'm counting on repeating exactly what happened last time. We're pretty sure we will get to have at least one more baby, so my task now is to be patient. I don't see anything wrong with eagerly anticipating my chance to bring another precious spirit to Earth, I just don't need to let that longing get in the way of taking care of the wonderful children I already have :D In some ways they make it easier, b/c they keep me busy (!), but in some ways they make it harder. They've been SO VERY GOOD lately, so helpful with each other and so cute and so sweet, it's exactly that good behavior that makes me want more kids!

I've been doing the daily themes with Jack's "schooling", and that's been working great. I can tell I'm getting a little burned out; I've been slacking in my own personal scripture study, and that certainly affects how well I perform as a mother and educator. But I think I need to add a couple more things to our daily schooling: scripture study and memorization. I know memorization isn't the best way to learn 99% of the things we need to learn, but I feel pretty strongly that we need to have some words of the Lord stored in our heads for us to ponder whenever the need arises. Jack memorized 2 Articles of Faith earlier this year, before we moved, so I know he is old enough. I'd like to work on memorizing some scriptures, too, so we can work on it together :D

I'd also like our family to learn a little German. Ambitious, much? Tim's going to Germany at the end of next month for a conference, and we have a neighbor from Germany, so why not? Even if we only learn a few words, I'd like to put the idea in Jack's head that we can learn to speak another language. I have a lofty dream that our homeschooling family will learn a new language every year, and culminate the year with a trip to a country where they speak that language. I think in reality we'll be doing well to get to do that even just once, but I refuse to give up on the idea! What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun? I don't give up on my dreams unless there's a better one to replace them with :D I dreamed once of being a doctor; I still hold out that I'll do it one day, but for now I'm doing something even better!

Jack is working on reading skills! And I know this b/c I'm reading a book called "Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn -- and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less" by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff (what a mouthful). One of the really important things I'd like to mention is that reading skills are developed as the child develops, and simply cannot be rushed. Some studies have indicated that children who are rushed into "reading" too early (and they're usually not even reading, just recognizing words they've learned) don't do any better in school, and may even be surpassed by their peers in just a few years. Children learn reading by being read to and talked to, holding conversations about their books and telling the stories back to their parents. Children who learn to read in this natural way, if they do learn to read early b/c of the richness of their environment (LOTS of reading, LOTS of storytelling, LOTS of natural conversation with parents and loved ones), will do better throughout their school years and will even do better in life after school.

I'm still in the beginning of the book, and I've learned so much, and it's made me so excited to see the things they're talking about in Jack's (and Lily's!) development :D He's working on math skills, as well, but reading is his big thing right now.

Lily's language development is doing the exact same things Jack's did. We put Jack in speech therapy b/c his pediatrician was adamant, but I was indifferent about it the whole way through. I enjoyed his speech therapy, but I'm pretty sure it didn't make any difference in when he decided to start talking. He simply didn't want to talk; there was nothing wrong with him. I was a little worried about letting him be behind b/c he didn't talk as early as he "should", but once he started talking he surpassed his age level within 2 months! Being able to see the milestones of Lily's speech development, I'm positive that there is nothing wrong with her as well. She just doesn't want to talk, just like Jack, but she is listening and learning. She'll probably continue to follow Jack's precedent in this, and surpass her age level soon after she begins to actually talk.

Which may not be too far off, b/c she said "Shoes" all afternoon. According to the book I'm reading, a word doesn't really count as a first word if it's not used correctly. Well, she said shoes today when holding or pointing to shoes!

In honor of Tim's sister, here are pictures of happy cousins playing together:

Jack liked to get in the way of the camera when I was trying to take a picture of his cousin :P but I got some good pics that way!

Leslie, Jack's cousin! Notice how similar their smiles are? She's 18 months younger than Jack, and 18 months older than Lily. They visited about 7 or 8 months ago, when Jessica was newly pregnant, and Leslie and Jack had trouble getting along; Leslie was in the "Mine!" stage and poor Jack simply could not handle her claiming possession of his toys! They did manage to play nicely together a few times, but it was a challenging time (but fun! And I'm so glad we got to host them!). This time they were two little peas in a pod, playing together so sweetly, and Leslie and Lily even played a little. It was just astounding the difference those few months made for both of those kids! OH OH OH how I wish those two cousins could grow up closer together :( I love the kind of parents Jessica and Aaron are, and I think extended families like that make homeschooling (and life!) so much richer. I do think that that is our goal, though; Tim and I dream of living near his parents, and I think Jessica wants to live closer to them as well. Just think of the possibilities!

I have reached a happy problem. Writing this blog is making me stay up to late at night. Apparently, I have too much going on in my life to be able to document it all :D I'd like to keep writing a post every night, but I guess I'll have to make my posts shorter, just write about the most important, best things. I am so richly blessed :D

Quote from Jack as he watched some cartoon characters balloon into balls, "They got big! They had a lot of poo-poo."