We went to Charleston, SC, in March. We visited the beach and climbed on the rocks there, and admired from afar the Revolutionary War fort that was there. From afar, because we could not drag ourselves away from the beach! We visited the aquarium and touched stingrays, and drove around downtown while Lily napped in the car. We went to the conference after-party and ate tasty snacks and chatted with people, and Jack and Lily got to hit a pinata and gather and eat candy! This was the first time that we took an umbrella stroller for Lily to ride in so that we wouldn't HAVE to change our plans for her nap. The unexpected twist to that was that Jack expected to get to ride in it, too. Poor kid. He felt so unloved and rejected b/c we let Lily ride in it and not him. Of course we explained it to him, that Lily is smaller and younger and can't run/walk as far as he can, but he still did a lot of whining.
We went to France in April. We visited Paris for a couple of days just for fun before we went on to Lyon where Tim's conference was. In Paris we saw the Eiffel Tower, we went up the Monparnasse Tower to see Paris from above, we saw the Louvre, and we played at the Tuilleries park. That park was our favorite part, and my absolute favorite part was the very end, when we visited it a second time on our way back out of the country. There was a merry-go-round that Jack spent a lot of time on, and a couple of very loud and rambunctious boys came and played on it too. I ran over to it and spun it as fast as I could, and those boys loved it! They knew the English word "fast" and would call out to me from across the playground "Madame Fast! Madame Fast! S'il vous plait?" Jack's favorite part of the park was a tall climbing structure, of course. All my children are monkeys :D In Lyon we visited an ancient cathedral, the Cathedrale Saint Jean (St. John's Cathedral). As we left, I let the kids get ice-cream cones from a street vendor who simply could not have been nicer to me and my kids. He could tell we were clueless tourists, and he did everything slowly and with a smile so we could understand what he was doing.
My other favorite part of France was the language instruction. I didn't have nearly enough time to become fluent, but I did try to become fluent in the few phrases I did know. I practiced pronunciation with church song CDs, and read scriptures in French every day. In Paris, I was complimented on my pronunciation multiple times by locals, and was able to have a few conversations (slow and halting, but conversations nonetheless).
We just got back from our first trip of the year to San Francisco. Tim got to go to Google I/O, a developers' conference that's been running for 5 years or so that he's always wanted to go to and never gotten to. After getting stressed and frazzled in France over not being able to see all the tourist attractions that I wanted to in the short time we were there, I relaxed and just spent the whole time at the parks. The kids had a BLAST. The other thing that had stressed me in France was not understanding how to get from point A to point B using public transportation, so this time I was more forgiving of myself and knew that it was just going to take forever to get across the city b/c it took me forever to decipher the maps and schedules. And, it didn't take forever, b/c I'm getting better at it! Jack also didn't whine about not being able to ride in the stroller, except for one evening when he was tired, hungry, and mad that we had to leave the park. He just had to get used to the idea. We did also take the train down the peninsula to visit our friend in Palo Alto. She's having a rough time, but it was so good to spend time with her and her adorable son again. He's old enough now to really play with Jack and Lily, and they had a great time together. The next day a friend from Sunnyvale rode the train up to come visit us, and we spent the whole day at Yerba Buena playground. Her son is right between Jack's and Lily's ages and they had a great time playing together again.
Forgive me. I'm too tired to post pics right now!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Caswell Traveling Circus
That's what we've become. I love it, in a lot of ways, and I've been really surprised to discover that there is anything not to love about it.
For instance, when you travel all the time, you forget what you're supposed to do when you're home! And, you lose quite a bit of sleep! And, when you're still learning, you book a hotel with beds that are too small for your co-sleeping family! (Jack now happily sleeps in his own bed, but Lily and Charlotte do not. Four people do NOT fit comfortably in a full-sized bed!) And, when you're away from home, you have no chores to do, but when you come home, you come home with loads of laundry to do and no energy to do it!
I really can't think of anything else. I do really love it.
I don't love how much money it costs. Now is where this post gets a little more personal....
I don't handle it well when Tim is gone. Well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I do! But I can never tell ahead of time how well I'm going to do. Y'all know that I'm dealing with depression; some days, some weeks, even some months are better than others. Some days I wake up and can hardly get out of bed; some days I'm thrilled to be alive!
When we lived in California, I made some really good friends. Yet, when Tim left on business trips, I hardly made it through. Once I was afraid I wasn't even capable of caring for my children. The memory of that trip still scares me and Tim. That was a big reason for moving back to Texarkana, near Tim's mother, who is uncanny about being able to say and do things to help me out. Tim said "Now that we live near my mom, you can stay home when I go on trips, and we can save thousands of dollars!" My mother even moved closer to us from Dallas to be able to help out, too.
Well, we tried it. We even had his dear sister come stay with me in my house while he was gone, to help out and just be there. (Her youthful body is still able to handle sleepless nights holding a crying baby better than either my mom's or Tim's mom's.) But I still felt like I was barely hanging on to my sanity.
And so after lots of discussion between me and Tim, and lots and lots of heartfelt prayers, we have decided that we will all travel together anywhere he needs to go. We look at it as a business expense, and do our best to spend as little as comfortably possible.
I feel like such a wimp. I think of military wives whose husbands are gone for months, even years at a time. I think of families we hear about at General Conference that send the husband/father away to work at a more lucrative job so the family can have money to go to the temple. I think of friends and extended family members who have survived necessary separations. And then I remember that Jesus loves me anyway, Tim tells me he loves to have me around, and my dear friend tells me I'm not a wimp.
Then I feel like such a snob. I have friends and family members that struggle to get by on combined incomes, and I can spend thousands of dollars on travel without batting an eye. I try to stay within a somewhat-restrictive budget in every other category, so I can still feel like I know what it's like to have to decide between buying milk or paying the garbage bill. I have to remember the "new bathrobe" syndrome - remember that one? Where the man buys himself a fancy new bathrobe, then his slippers look drab so he "has" to buy some new slippers, then his rug looks worn so he "has" to buy a new rug, then his curtains look outdated so he "has" to buy new curtains, etc. When we're in the airport and the hotel, I have to remember that just because everyone around me drops money like so much discarded waste doesn't mean I do. (When a hotel charges $100 for a boutique bathrobe, remember, there are people who actually pay that. Not me!) I also have to remember that just because I can spend this much on travel does not mean I can spend as much as I want on anything that strikes my fancy. I also have to reign in my tendency to "rescue" everyone I know who has financial difficulties. I got a good deal on a plane ticket to send my mother-in-law to the rescue of her ailing daughter in Utah, and I feel very good about that purchase. But when my daughter said she wanted her cousins to come to her birthday party, I wanted to buy all four of them plane tickets to come visit us for a week, and it took me a few days of staring at that $1200 total before I could admit that it wasn't a good idea.
ALL OF THAT! Just to be able to put some context behind my current trial: We're travelling to so many places in the next few months, that I can't go for an hour without wondering what else I need to do to prepare for our upcoming trips. We went to South Carolina last week, we're going to France in a month, then we'll be home for a couple of weeks and go to San Francisco, then we'll be home for a few days before we'll go to the Florida coast, then we'll be home for a couple of weeks before we'll go to the San Francisco area again. Four trips in three and a half months. I spent an entire afternoon booking the hotel for our France trip.
What a first-world problem, huh? "Oh poor poor pitiful me, I have to spend so much of my time booking travel for my family!"
The upside of this, is that I really appreciate a normal day at home. When I wake up at my regular time, get up and shower and dress and feed my family and read scriptures (in English and French!), homeschool my children, exercise and feed my family, put my daughters down for their naps, read to my children, clean my home, feed my family again, clean my home some more, and put my kids to bed on time. I appreciate it so much that I'm seriously considering staying home next time Tim travels (well, next time that isn't already planned), just to see how well we all do and pay off some debt. (Don't tell Tim, or he'll expect me to follow through!)
But I do really like being the Caswell Traveling Circus. Tim's field (software development) is so politically liberal, worldly, atheist, anti-family, that I almost feel like we have a duty to show them how awesome a family can be. And who better to do that than us (we? My grammar could use some help!)? Our kids are SO well-behaved when we travel, b/c they love it as much as I do! A lot of Tim's contemporaries are coming to expect us anytime Tim is scheduled to speak at or attend a conference. A few of them are married and/or have children, and they love seeing us and playing with our kids.
For instance, when you travel all the time, you forget what you're supposed to do when you're home! And, you lose quite a bit of sleep! And, when you're still learning, you book a hotel with beds that are too small for your co-sleeping family! (Jack now happily sleeps in his own bed, but Lily and Charlotte do not. Four people do NOT fit comfortably in a full-sized bed!) And, when you're away from home, you have no chores to do, but when you come home, you come home with loads of laundry to do and no energy to do it!
I really can't think of anything else. I do really love it.
I don't love how much money it costs. Now is where this post gets a little more personal....
I don't handle it well when Tim is gone. Well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I do! But I can never tell ahead of time how well I'm going to do. Y'all know that I'm dealing with depression; some days, some weeks, even some months are better than others. Some days I wake up and can hardly get out of bed; some days I'm thrilled to be alive!
When we lived in California, I made some really good friends. Yet, when Tim left on business trips, I hardly made it through. Once I was afraid I wasn't even capable of caring for my children. The memory of that trip still scares me and Tim. That was a big reason for moving back to Texarkana, near Tim's mother, who is uncanny about being able to say and do things to help me out. Tim said "Now that we live near my mom, you can stay home when I go on trips, and we can save thousands of dollars!" My mother even moved closer to us from Dallas to be able to help out, too.
Well, we tried it. We even had his dear sister come stay with me in my house while he was gone, to help out and just be there. (Her youthful body is still able to handle sleepless nights holding a crying baby better than either my mom's or Tim's mom's.) But I still felt like I was barely hanging on to my sanity.
And so after lots of discussion between me and Tim, and lots and lots of heartfelt prayers, we have decided that we will all travel together anywhere he needs to go. We look at it as a business expense, and do our best to spend as little as comfortably possible.
I feel like such a wimp. I think of military wives whose husbands are gone for months, even years at a time. I think of families we hear about at General Conference that send the husband/father away to work at a more lucrative job so the family can have money to go to the temple. I think of friends and extended family members who have survived necessary separations. And then I remember that Jesus loves me anyway, Tim tells me he loves to have me around, and my dear friend tells me I'm not a wimp.
Then I feel like such a snob. I have friends and family members that struggle to get by on combined incomes, and I can spend thousands of dollars on travel without batting an eye. I try to stay within a somewhat-restrictive budget in every other category, so I can still feel like I know what it's like to have to decide between buying milk or paying the garbage bill. I have to remember the "new bathrobe" syndrome - remember that one? Where the man buys himself a fancy new bathrobe, then his slippers look drab so he "has" to buy some new slippers, then his rug looks worn so he "has" to buy a new rug, then his curtains look outdated so he "has" to buy new curtains, etc. When we're in the airport and the hotel, I have to remember that just because everyone around me drops money like so much discarded waste doesn't mean I do. (When a hotel charges $100 for a boutique bathrobe, remember, there are people who actually pay that. Not me!) I also have to remember that just because I can spend this much on travel does not mean I can spend as much as I want on anything that strikes my fancy. I also have to reign in my tendency to "rescue" everyone I know who has financial difficulties. I got a good deal on a plane ticket to send my mother-in-law to the rescue of her ailing daughter in Utah, and I feel very good about that purchase. But when my daughter said she wanted her cousins to come to her birthday party, I wanted to buy all four of them plane tickets to come visit us for a week, and it took me a few days of staring at that $1200 total before I could admit that it wasn't a good idea.
ALL OF THAT! Just to be able to put some context behind my current trial: We're travelling to so many places in the next few months, that I can't go for an hour without wondering what else I need to do to prepare for our upcoming trips. We went to South Carolina last week, we're going to France in a month, then we'll be home for a couple of weeks and go to San Francisco, then we'll be home for a few days before we'll go to the Florida coast, then we'll be home for a couple of weeks before we'll go to the San Francisco area again. Four trips in three and a half months. I spent an entire afternoon booking the hotel for our France trip.
What a first-world problem, huh? "Oh poor poor pitiful me, I have to spend so much of my time booking travel for my family!"
The upside of this, is that I really appreciate a normal day at home. When I wake up at my regular time, get up and shower and dress and feed my family and read scriptures (in English and French!), homeschool my children, exercise and feed my family, put my daughters down for their naps, read to my children, clean my home, feed my family again, clean my home some more, and put my kids to bed on time. I appreciate it so much that I'm seriously considering staying home next time Tim travels (well, next time that isn't already planned), just to see how well we all do and pay off some debt. (Don't tell Tim, or he'll expect me to follow through!)
But I do really like being the Caswell Traveling Circus. Tim's field (software development) is so politically liberal, worldly, atheist, anti-family, that I almost feel like we have a duty to show them how awesome a family can be. And who better to do that than us (we? My grammar could use some help!)? Our kids are SO well-behaved when we travel, b/c they love it as much as I do! A lot of Tim's contemporaries are coming to expect us anytime Tim is scheduled to speak at or attend a conference. A few of them are married and/or have children, and they love seeing us and playing with our kids.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
What we're up to.
-Our homeschool routine:
We start as soon as we’re done with family morning scriptures (we read 10 verses out of the Book of Mormon, rereading each verse in French as we go, then discuss what we read). We go to the couch with our scriptures, and watch one of the Old Testament Stories the church produces, then I ask them to tell the story back to me. We then begin to read the scriptures the story summarizes. I plan it out beforehand so that we'll read about a fourth of the scriptures from the story in a day, so that after 4 days or so we can start the next story. This works very well for a 4-day school week. After we've read the scriptures that the story summarizes, we recite the memory verse I've chosen that goes with the story. I have them each recite the verse as many times as their age, so Jack recites it 6 times and Lily does it 3 times. My goal is that by the end of the week, they can tell me the story and recite to me the verse from memory. After we've done all the Old Testament Stories, we'll do New Testament Stories, then Book of Mormon Stories, then Doctrine and Covenants Stories. That'll keep me busy for a few years!
Next we work on reading practice. I have a set of index cards for their memory verse, one word or punctuation mark per card, and I have them put the cards in order, using a large-print copy of the verse as their key. I might ask them to find repeated words, or just point to a word and ask them what it is, and since they're working on memorizing that verse they can usually answer me correctly.
Next we go to the table with paper and pencils and practice writing. They write the first word of the memory verse, repeating it the number of times as their age in years.
Next is art. This one is wide open, yet I am often at a loss for what to do in this category. My goal is to have them create something that is beautiful and useful. We've painted, colored, sculpted, cut paper, etc. I hope to not forget other categories of arts, like music. Perhaps I can ask their music leader from church what songs they're working on and practice those during this time, or teach them to play songs on the piano. It's all a work in progress!
Next we do math. It might be drill, in which the more challenging aspect is writing their answers down correctly, or it might be a game that practices whatever skill is challenging for one of them (Jack is learning place value in the millions, multiplication and division, arithmetic symbols, negative numbers, fractions, and geometry, while Lily is working on counting! There's a big gap in their skill levels!), or it might be a page or two of Janice VanCleave's "Math for Every Kid", turning as many of her illustrations as possible into real-life activities.
Next is science! We have a pile of science activity books we want to work through; the one we're on at the moment is an old one we got at a curriculum swap, called "God's Marvelous Works" by Faythelma Bechtel. We've done activities like shining flashlights at mirrors to see how the light bounces, mixing water and milk to make a translucent mixture, and holding a glass dish over a pot of boiling water to collect the steam and see it condense (that one, they only observed, I kept them safe!). Next in the pile of books are Janice VanCleave's "Play and Find Out about the Human Body" and Vicki Cobb's "Science Experiments You Can Eat".
Next is Literature. We just finished "Pinocchio" by Carlo Collodi, and we're working on "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder," Our Island Story" by H. E. Marshall, "A Child's Garden of Verses" by Robert Louis Stevenson, and "Friend", a monthly magazine for children produced by the church.
Last we do something purely for fun, like jump on the trampoline or wrestle on the bed.
Ideally, we do all of this and it's not even noon yet. Realistically, Charlotte will need diaper changes, a potty trip, and a nap before that, and we're lucky if we make it to science. So, the next day, we pick up where we left off, and smile!
We are all learning and growing SO MUCH with this routine. And as an added bonus, Charlotte loves it and happily plays while we do this, unless she needs a nap.
-Charlotte walking:
She's been standing up in the middle of the room for weeks now, just crawling to some open spot, standing and dancing for a while, and crawling some more. She likes to stand while she investigates and plays with toys, and she likes to pull up and cruise along the walls and furniture. She's been slowly realizing that walking is better than crawling for locomotion, and has loved when a big person would hold her hand and help her walk, getting steadier and steadier and needing less and less help. Today, something clicked in her mind, and she took several steps in a row, fell, and got up and kept walking, over and over and over! I realized almost too late that I could record that on video.
-Lily`s perfect behavior except when she needs a nap
Yes, Lily is almost perfect, unless she needs a nap. That is in fact my biggest motivator to take the time out of my day to snuggle her down for her nap, is that if she's well-rested she is such an easy and delightful child! Her only fault is that she can get so focused on whatever she's doing that she doesn't really hear what Tim or I tell her; the hilarious thing is that she'll say "OK!" and then promptly forget! I'm working on not losing my patience with her when she does this. Not being listened to is definitely one of my least favorite things, but I love her and I know she loves me and will do what I need her to do once I can just get through to her!
Lily went for a few weeks from January into February not needing naps at all. That was when I weaned her, too, which went very well. But her behavior began to deteriorate and she started falling asleep on car trips, and I tried putting her down for a nap and found success, so I've kept it up. She won't need naps forever!
Yes, I weaned her, finally. I tried halfheartedly a few times since Charlotte's birth but she vehemently refused, so I figured she wasn't ready and powered through, growing to love it again every time. She increased her nursing frequency again in January or so, and I just had enough. I think she was ready, too, because she was OK with it. It helped that she also didn't need a nap for those few weeks! Whenever she asked to nurse I offered to cuddle her instead, or read to her, and she happily accepted. Tim put her to bed at night, and I started reading her and Jack a bedtime story every night. She noticed that I wasn't nursing her anymore and asked once why, and I held her close and told her that I love her very much but she's getting too big to nurse, and Charlotte's getting bigger too and needs all the milk I make. I let her nurse one last time, then, and while she did continue to ask for a week or so after that, she never cried when I told her no. And then she stopped asking. Later when I started napping her again, I just read her a book and held her close and she fell asleep without any trouble. She did ask again for a couple of days, weeks after, and I gently refused, and she stopped asking with no fuss. She was ready, and so was I!
-Jack isn't doing anything spectacular at the moment, just growing into a fine young man.
He loves his sisters and helps with them, he doesn't do his chores until he's asked but he does them then, and he loves to make things with K'Nex and Tinker Toys. He still throws fits when life is hard, but he's getting better at stopping and translating his emotions into words, and getting the love he needs from me and occasionally from Tim. He's losing his baby teeth and getting his secondary teeth, and doing a decent job remembering to brush his teeth after every meal. He is actually learning to read and write in our homeshool, and while he hates how hard it is, he is very proud of what he knows, as evidenced by the drawings he brings home from church or makes in his spare time. He is still a work in progress, but he is a person I like to have around.
-Tim works and we travel!
Tim has succeeded so far in keeping our family afloat all on his own, not as an employee. Granted, he is working as a contractor for a company, but only 30 hours a week.
And we go with him to every conference he goes to. We went to the San Francisco area in September, Chicago in October, Washington DC in November, and Dallas in February. This month we're going to South Carolina, next month we're going to France (first time out of the states for the kids!), in May we're going to Florida, and in June we'll be back in the Bay area. During this extra-busy traveling time, the company Tim does work for wants him to do more work, so I've taken over doing the dishes in our house. Since I also snuggle both girls down when they need naps, and their naps don't often coincide, I feel like I spend most of my day snuggling, feeding, and washing dishes. The laundry hasn't been caught up in weeks, something I used to keep always done. But it won't be too many more months and Charlotte will go down to just one nap a day, and then I can put her down with Lily. And Tim will be able to do dishes again someday, and I won't know what to do with all my extra time!
Whew! That was supposed to be just a quick update! Good night!
We start as soon as we’re done with family morning scriptures (we read 10 verses out of the Book of Mormon, rereading each verse in French as we go, then discuss what we read). We go to the couch with our scriptures, and watch one of the Old Testament Stories the church produces, then I ask them to tell the story back to me. We then begin to read the scriptures the story summarizes. I plan it out beforehand so that we'll read about a fourth of the scriptures from the story in a day, so that after 4 days or so we can start the next story. This works very well for a 4-day school week. After we've read the scriptures that the story summarizes, we recite the memory verse I've chosen that goes with the story. I have them each recite the verse as many times as their age, so Jack recites it 6 times and Lily does it 3 times. My goal is that by the end of the week, they can tell me the story and recite to me the verse from memory. After we've done all the Old Testament Stories, we'll do New Testament Stories, then Book of Mormon Stories, then Doctrine and Covenants Stories. That'll keep me busy for a few years!
Next we work on reading practice. I have a set of index cards for their memory verse, one word or punctuation mark per card, and I have them put the cards in order, using a large-print copy of the verse as their key. I might ask them to find repeated words, or just point to a word and ask them what it is, and since they're working on memorizing that verse they can usually answer me correctly.
Next we go to the table with paper and pencils and practice writing. They write the first word of the memory verse, repeating it the number of times as their age in years.
Next is art. This one is wide open, yet I am often at a loss for what to do in this category. My goal is to have them create something that is beautiful and useful. We've painted, colored, sculpted, cut paper, etc. I hope to not forget other categories of arts, like music. Perhaps I can ask their music leader from church what songs they're working on and practice those during this time, or teach them to play songs on the piano. It's all a work in progress!
Next we do math. It might be drill, in which the more challenging aspect is writing their answers down correctly, or it might be a game that practices whatever skill is challenging for one of them (Jack is learning place value in the millions, multiplication and division, arithmetic symbols, negative numbers, fractions, and geometry, while Lily is working on counting! There's a big gap in their skill levels!), or it might be a page or two of Janice VanCleave's "Math for Every Kid", turning as many of her illustrations as possible into real-life activities.
Next is science! We have a pile of science activity books we want to work through; the one we're on at the moment is an old one we got at a curriculum swap, called "God's Marvelous Works" by Faythelma Bechtel. We've done activities like shining flashlights at mirrors to see how the light bounces, mixing water and milk to make a translucent mixture, and holding a glass dish over a pot of boiling water to collect the steam and see it condense (that one, they only observed, I kept them safe!). Next in the pile of books are Janice VanCleave's "Play and Find Out about the Human Body" and Vicki Cobb's "Science Experiments You Can Eat".
Next is Literature. We just finished "Pinocchio" by Carlo Collodi, and we're working on "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder," Our Island Story" by H. E. Marshall, "A Child's Garden of Verses" by Robert Louis Stevenson, and "Friend", a monthly magazine for children produced by the church.
Last we do something purely for fun, like jump on the trampoline or wrestle on the bed.
Ideally, we do all of this and it's not even noon yet. Realistically, Charlotte will need diaper changes, a potty trip, and a nap before that, and we're lucky if we make it to science. So, the next day, we pick up where we left off, and smile!
We are all learning and growing SO MUCH with this routine. And as an added bonus, Charlotte loves it and happily plays while we do this, unless she needs a nap.
-Charlotte walking:
-Lily`s perfect behavior except when she needs a nap
Yes, Lily is almost perfect, unless she needs a nap. That is in fact my biggest motivator to take the time out of my day to snuggle her down for her nap, is that if she's well-rested she is such an easy and delightful child! Her only fault is that she can get so focused on whatever she's doing that she doesn't really hear what Tim or I tell her; the hilarious thing is that she'll say "OK!" and then promptly forget! I'm working on not losing my patience with her when she does this. Not being listened to is definitely one of my least favorite things, but I love her and I know she loves me and will do what I need her to do once I can just get through to her!
Lily went for a few weeks from January into February not needing naps at all. That was when I weaned her, too, which went very well. But her behavior began to deteriorate and she started falling asleep on car trips, and I tried putting her down for a nap and found success, so I've kept it up. She won't need naps forever!
Yes, I weaned her, finally. I tried halfheartedly a few times since Charlotte's birth but she vehemently refused, so I figured she wasn't ready and powered through, growing to love it again every time. She increased her nursing frequency again in January or so, and I just had enough. I think she was ready, too, because she was OK with it. It helped that she also didn't need a nap for those few weeks! Whenever she asked to nurse I offered to cuddle her instead, or read to her, and she happily accepted. Tim put her to bed at night, and I started reading her and Jack a bedtime story every night. She noticed that I wasn't nursing her anymore and asked once why, and I held her close and told her that I love her very much but she's getting too big to nurse, and Charlotte's getting bigger too and needs all the milk I make. I let her nurse one last time, then, and while she did continue to ask for a week or so after that, she never cried when I told her no. And then she stopped asking. Later when I started napping her again, I just read her a book and held her close and she fell asleep without any trouble. She did ask again for a couple of days, weeks after, and I gently refused, and she stopped asking with no fuss. She was ready, and so was I!
-Jack isn't doing anything spectacular at the moment, just growing into a fine young man.
He loves his sisters and helps with them, he doesn't do his chores until he's asked but he does them then, and he loves to make things with K'Nex and Tinker Toys. He still throws fits when life is hard, but he's getting better at stopping and translating his emotions into words, and getting the love he needs from me and occasionally from Tim. He's losing his baby teeth and getting his secondary teeth, and doing a decent job remembering to brush his teeth after every meal. He is actually learning to read and write in our homeshool, and while he hates how hard it is, he is very proud of what he knows, as evidenced by the drawings he brings home from church or makes in his spare time. He is still a work in progress, but he is a person I like to have around.
-Tim works and we travel!
Tim has succeeded so far in keeping our family afloat all on his own, not as an employee. Granted, he is working as a contractor for a company, but only 30 hours a week.
And we go with him to every conference he goes to. We went to the San Francisco area in September, Chicago in October, Washington DC in November, and Dallas in February. This month we're going to South Carolina, next month we're going to France (first time out of the states for the kids!), in May we're going to Florida, and in June we'll be back in the Bay area. During this extra-busy traveling time, the company Tim does work for wants him to do more work, so I've taken over doing the dishes in our house. Since I also snuggle both girls down when they need naps, and their naps don't often coincide, I feel like I spend most of my day snuggling, feeding, and washing dishes. The laundry hasn't been caught up in weeks, something I used to keep always done. But it won't be too many more months and Charlotte will go down to just one nap a day, and then I can put her down with Lily. And Tim will be able to do dishes again someday, and I won't know what to do with all my extra time!
Whew! That was supposed to be just a quick update! Good night!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Lilyish hymns, pictures, and life is hard so get over it already
My little parrot (also known as Lily) is singing her version of "All Creatures of Our God and King". It goes like this:
"All creatures of our God and king, ha-way-woo-yuh, ha-way-woo-yuh, so much going on, ha-way-woo-yuh, ha-way-woo-yuh!"
I don't know if she's interpreting "burning sun with golden beam" as "so much going on" or if she's just inserting a phrase she's heard me say a few times! I love the way she sings what she hears :D
Today was one of those days in which I felt imprisoned by my daily duties and harassed by my kids and husband. All I wanted to do was go outside and work on the garden site (well, that and eat bon-bons and read fiction... but working on the garden is both productive AND fun so I tried to just do that!), but there were 4 mouths that would not be fed if I didn't feed them, two bums that would not be wiped if I didn't wipe them, two girls that would not sleep if I didn't soothe them, and a houseful of clutter that would not be picked up unless I supervised it. I tried to tell myself that my children are only tiny for a short while and I should enjoy them while I can, and that did help immensely while the thought stayed nicely in my mind, but the stress of my duties overwhelmed me at times. Jack was spectacular, and every time he noticed I was stressed he sidled up to me and rubbed my arm and gave me one of his smiles. That helped a bit! A friend came over to play, too, bringing her 3 kids. I take my hat off to her, she has the same number of kids as I do, but her oldest is a year and a half younger than my oldest, and her youngest is a year and a half older than my youngest; in other words, when her youngest was born, she had three kids under three years old! Her kids are intensely curious and not always so good at listening, but they have kind hearts and gentle spirits and they play well with my kids. She herself (Samantha) is creative, intelligent, kind, and just fun to be around, so I was happy when she showed up to play!
Finding balance, or more correctly, the attempt to find balance, is almost always the source of my stress. One the one hand, the kids need my undivided attention and love, and they feel it best when I play with them. On the other hand, I am the keeper of the home, and it needs to be neat and orderly. To further complicate the matter, the kids need to learn how to keep the home as well, and I show them love by teaching them and working with them to keep the home. I don't think it's a good idea to spend all day inside the house, cleaning it, but neither is it a good idea to spend all day playing and just do some token tidying. At lunchtime I was making bread, and every single room in the house needed some tidying, but the kids were playing.
Me: "Jack, do you notice what I'm doing? I'm making food for all of us. Can you do this?"
Jack: "No."
Me: "Since you can't do this work that I'm doing, can you do something for me that you CAN do? Every single room in this house needs to be tidied. Can you and Lily tidy one of them?"
Jack (groaning): "Do I have to tidy the whole room?"
Me: "You know, we counted all the rooms in the house once. There are fourteen! I only asked you to tidy one of them."
Jack was getting up to tidy, but he was still dragging his feet, and I wanted Lily to get involved, too, so I sweetened the deal with an offer of a chocolate chip for anyone who tidied continuously for fifteen minutes. They liked it so much they did it twice! That helped my mind a lot, but the house needed much more!
Tomorrow is another day!
"All creatures of our God and king, ha-way-woo-yuh, ha-way-woo-yuh, so much going on, ha-way-woo-yuh, ha-way-woo-yuh!"
I don't know if she's interpreting "burning sun with golden beam" as "so much going on" or if she's just inserting a phrase she's heard me say a few times! I love the way she sings what she hears :D
Lily (Jack and Charlotte too) loves her Grandpa!
Jack's half-birthday (he's 6.5 now!). I made shortbread cookies with his help, and he ran around the house in pure excited joy between bouts of "helping" me. He was thrilled to get to ice the cookies, and I was impressed with the effort he put into his creations!
This is his "camera" smile. I love it because it's crooked :D
This is his real smile!
Charlotte got some new clothes (yay!) because I canNOT find the clothes Lily wore when she was Charlotte's size (boo!). Charlotte also got to pose on the couch, just like baby Lily did!
Yes, I think my daughter looks like a supermodel, only prettier :D
This is her "I'm chewing on my tongue" face!
And this is her "I'm trying to blow spit bubbles" face!
She loves her Daddy, and he loves her too!
Oh aren't babies fun! They see a stream of water and think it's something solid they can grab!
Charlotte got a bath in the sink because I HAD to cook supper right then, and she HAD to have a bath right then too. So I cleaned out the sink (one-handed, with a naked baby in the other) and multitasked for a few minutes, then looked over and saw that Lily and Charlotte were talking to each other. There is a special bond between those two; there is also a special bond between Lily and Jack, and between Jack and Charlotte, and just as none of the three of them is exactly like another, all these relationships are unique. It's fun to watch!
Halloween 2012: a ladybug, a flower, and a ballerina princess (and their parents)! This was before going to the ward chili cookoff and trunk-or-treat.
Halloween 2012, revisited: a care bear, a flower, and a ladybug! This was at the little festival in downtown (ha!) New Boston. Since Halloween fell on a Wednesday, Tim was in church activities (he's the Young Men's president) and I didn't want to take the kids trick-or-treat-ing without his help, so we went to the party instead.
Today was one of those days in which I felt imprisoned by my daily duties and harassed by my kids and husband. All I wanted to do was go outside and work on the garden site (well, that and eat bon-bons and read fiction... but working on the garden is both productive AND fun so I tried to just do that!), but there were 4 mouths that would not be fed if I didn't feed them, two bums that would not be wiped if I didn't wipe them, two girls that would not sleep if I didn't soothe them, and a houseful of clutter that would not be picked up unless I supervised it. I tried to tell myself that my children are only tiny for a short while and I should enjoy them while I can, and that did help immensely while the thought stayed nicely in my mind, but the stress of my duties overwhelmed me at times. Jack was spectacular, and every time he noticed I was stressed he sidled up to me and rubbed my arm and gave me one of his smiles. That helped a bit! A friend came over to play, too, bringing her 3 kids. I take my hat off to her, she has the same number of kids as I do, but her oldest is a year and a half younger than my oldest, and her youngest is a year and a half older than my youngest; in other words, when her youngest was born, she had three kids under three years old! Her kids are intensely curious and not always so good at listening, but they have kind hearts and gentle spirits and they play well with my kids. She herself (Samantha) is creative, intelligent, kind, and just fun to be around, so I was happy when she showed up to play!
Finding balance, or more correctly, the attempt to find balance, is almost always the source of my stress. One the one hand, the kids need my undivided attention and love, and they feel it best when I play with them. On the other hand, I am the keeper of the home, and it needs to be neat and orderly. To further complicate the matter, the kids need to learn how to keep the home as well, and I show them love by teaching them and working with them to keep the home. I don't think it's a good idea to spend all day inside the house, cleaning it, but neither is it a good idea to spend all day playing and just do some token tidying. At lunchtime I was making bread, and every single room in the house needed some tidying, but the kids were playing.
Me: "Jack, do you notice what I'm doing? I'm making food for all of us. Can you do this?"
Jack: "No."
Me: "Since you can't do this work that I'm doing, can you do something for me that you CAN do? Every single room in this house needs to be tidied. Can you and Lily tidy one of them?"
Jack (groaning): "Do I have to tidy the whole room?"
Me: "You know, we counted all the rooms in the house once. There are fourteen! I only asked you to tidy one of them."
Jack was getting up to tidy, but he was still dragging his feet, and I wanted Lily to get involved, too, so I sweetened the deal with an offer of a chocolate chip for anyone who tidied continuously for fifteen minutes. They liked it so much they did it twice! That helped my mind a lot, but the house needed much more!
Tomorrow is another day!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Christmas gifts!
Gift ideas for us!
Tim:
-Nice headphones
-Toblerone
-Magic cards
Mir:
-Chocolate, of any kind (as long as it does not involve coffee)
-"Brave", the latest Pixar movie on Blu-Ray
-Picture frames
Jack: (wears between size 5 and 6, size 12 shoes, footed pajamas need to be size 7 since he is long-bodied and big-footed)
-board/card games
-someone to jump on the trampoline with him
-Hot Wheels cars and tracks
Lily: "Just, a bunny!" (wears a size 4, size 8.5 shoes)
-"I just want a monkey on my back for Christmas!" (she does love stuffed animals)
-books, puzzles
-art/craft supplies
Charlotte: (wears size 6-12 months, size medium diapers, dresses at least 17 inches long)
-any toy that doesn't require batteries
As I've said before, publishing this list is not my way of asking for gifts, it's my way of giving the people who want to buy gifts for us, some ideas of what we like!
Does anyone have some suggestions for how to make Christmas more about giving than about getting, for my little ones?
Tim:
-Nice headphones
-Toblerone
-Magic cards
Mir:
-Chocolate, of any kind (as long as it does not involve coffee)
-"Brave", the latest Pixar movie on Blu-Ray
-Picture frames
Jack: (wears between size 5 and 6, size 12 shoes, footed pajamas need to be size 7 since he is long-bodied and big-footed)
-board/card games
-someone to jump on the trampoline with him
-Hot Wheels cars and tracks
Lily: "Just, a bunny!" (wears a size 4, size 8.5 shoes)
-"I just want a monkey on my back for Christmas!" (she does love stuffed animals)
-books, puzzles
-art/craft supplies
Charlotte: (wears size 6-12 months, size medium diapers, dresses at least 17 inches long)
-any toy that doesn't require batteries
As I've said before, publishing this list is not my way of asking for gifts, it's my way of giving the people who want to buy gifts for us, some ideas of what we like!
Does anyone have some suggestions for how to make Christmas more about giving than about getting, for my little ones?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Can I be done having sick kids, please?
I have to laugh at myself. I'm frustrated that my middle child is getting sicker, b/c I'm tired of having sick kids. Having sick kids means I can't take them anywhere that's indoors, and I can't have people come visit, and I'm tired of that. I feel like I've had sick kids for months, though it's only been a couple of weeks.
But really, it's the kids that are sick that are suffering the most! They're sick!BBBBBBB On my birthday, (August 21st, over a month ago), I came down with a flu, and Lily and Charlotte both caught it around the same time but they got over it very quickly, whereas I developed a nasty cough. I'm not kidding when I say nasty, it was so bad I couldn't sleep b/c lying down triggered coughs and I can't sleep sitting up. For two nights in a row the only way I could sleep was on my stomach, and since Charlotte doesn't think she can fall asleep in any way other than nursing, this presented some challenges to our bedtime routine. Tim got less sleep b/c he rocked Charlotte to sleep while I napped on my tummy; I got less sleep b/c I can only sleep so long in one position before I wake up sore, and I couldn't sleep in any other position or I'd cough, so I would just have to sit up until I was exhausted enough to fall asleep again in the same position.
My coughs were so strong that my torso muscles got sore from coughing, and every couple of days during the two weeks of severe coughing I would develop soreness in some new muscle group from coughing in an odd position. For instance, one morning I was lying on my side, and when a coughing fit hit, for some reason I tensed the muscles in my thigh, and that thigh was then sore for two days. I tried herbal teas, I tried hot soup, I even asked for soup when sweet ladies from church asked what they could do (and they delivered, too, which was SOOO nice!). After two and a half weeks, I had had enough and went to the doctor..... who said my cough was only caused by snot dripping down my throat and prescribed a cough medicine that had never been studied in breastfeeding mothers. I was deeply frustrated and a little angry. FINALLY, it was time for us to travel for Tim's convention in California (September 4-6), and as I worked to pack up the house, I started to get better. I researched cough medicine and found a cough suppresent drug that was compatible with breastfeeding and started taking it, and also started using menthol/herb cough drops at night. The first night at Tim's convention was the first night I slept the night through without coughing, and I continued to improve every day.
All this time I was coughing, I was assuming that the cough was just an aftereffect of the flu, and didn't think I was contagious. After Tim's convention, while we were staying in California in preparation for him to fly to China and for me and the kids to visit his sister in Utah, Lily caught the cough! Then Charlotte! So we went to Utah with two coughing girls. Charlotte got over it very quickly, but Lily is still not over it. Then, in Utah, Jack caught it. Lily seems to be getting better, but Jack's cough wakes him up at night, just like it did me. And he's so tired, he's always the first one to bed at night, and there for a few days he was even napping multiple times a day.
So, tonight, Lily vomited. And that was when I said out loud, "Can I be done having sick kids, please?" And then laughed at myself and started to be a little more compassionate for my child who had just puked and felt awful.
So, while everyone has been battling various levels of illness, life has gone on and we've had fun. We were in California for about a week, first at Tim's convention in the middle of nowhere in Marin County (north of San Francisco), then in the San Francisco metropolitan area visiting friends and favorite places. Tim worked during the workdays there, but during the evenings and the one weekend, he spent time with us and we had a great time. We went to the beach, we hiked in the Muir Woods, we visited dear friends that I've really missed (and the kids had a great time playing with their kids), we went to the Palo Alto Junior Museum that Jack has been asking to go to for the last few months, and we went to the park that we used to live near in Palo Alto. Then when Tim went to China, we went to Utah to visit his sister, Jessica, and her daughters, Leslie (almost 5) and Elysia (just turned 2). It was so beautiful to see my kids playing with hers, watching them deepen their bonds, hearing them sing together, and getting to know Jessica better. She is such a faithful and patient woman and I'm so glad I married her brother! Jack and Leslie played pretend games, he introduced her to games and movies on the iPad (which I would have limited much more strictly if he hadn't been so sick and tired), and Lily joined in when she wasn't busy playing by herself. Leslie and Elysia both loved Charlotte, and by the time I'd been there a few days they were pretty gentle with her.
Jack is really honing his math lately. While we were in California, he said "Ten tens is the same as five twenties!" Then in Utah, he said "Four twenties and four fives is a hundred!" When I asked him how he figured that out, he said "Because two twenties and two fives is half a hundred!" (Somehow, "half a hundred" has become absolutely synonymous with "fifty" in Jack's vocabulary.) After we came home, we played Carcassonne, which keeps score with markers on a number line that wraps around and starts over at 50 (so, it runs from 1-49, then if you put your marker back on 0 you pick up a tile with "50" on it and just keep on going). He had his marker on 36 and earned 21 points. I was about to move his marker for him, but I stopped and asked him where his marker would go. He studied the board for a few seconds, then asked me to show him where the 6 was. I showed him, then he put his marker on the 7 and smiled up at me. I asked him how he knew that and he explained that from 36, he would put his marker on the 46, then on the 6, then on the next one after 6. In other words, 21 is made up of 10, 10, and 1.
Here's the thing he's having trouble with: recognizing the numbers 5-9. For some reason, he does this with almost everything academic that he learns: he picks it up from just everyday life, then starts to second-guess and doubt himself and almost completely unlearns it. He used to easily recognize the numbers 1-20, but now he only knows 1-4. He sometimes knows the others at first, but then as soon as he realizes that he just recognized them, he stops saying the number and asks me what number it is. I think that if I stop bragging about his accomplishments so much in his presence, he'll stop feeling so stressed about getting it right.
But even with all this refusing to read the numbers 5-9, he has advanced to being able to read 2-digit numbers; as long as both digits are between 1 and 4 he can read it right off, but if one of the digits is between 5 and 9 he'll ask for the name of that one before he'll tell me what number it is.
It's almost 11pm. Good night!
But really, it's the kids that are sick that are suffering the most! They're sick!BBBBBBB On my birthday, (August 21st, over a month ago), I came down with a flu, and Lily and Charlotte both caught it around the same time but they got over it very quickly, whereas I developed a nasty cough. I'm not kidding when I say nasty, it was so bad I couldn't sleep b/c lying down triggered coughs and I can't sleep sitting up. For two nights in a row the only way I could sleep was on my stomach, and since Charlotte doesn't think she can fall asleep in any way other than nursing, this presented some challenges to our bedtime routine. Tim got less sleep b/c he rocked Charlotte to sleep while I napped on my tummy; I got less sleep b/c I can only sleep so long in one position before I wake up sore, and I couldn't sleep in any other position or I'd cough, so I would just have to sit up until I was exhausted enough to fall asleep again in the same position.
My coughs were so strong that my torso muscles got sore from coughing, and every couple of days during the two weeks of severe coughing I would develop soreness in some new muscle group from coughing in an odd position. For instance, one morning I was lying on my side, and when a coughing fit hit, for some reason I tensed the muscles in my thigh, and that thigh was then sore for two days. I tried herbal teas, I tried hot soup, I even asked for soup when sweet ladies from church asked what they could do (and they delivered, too, which was SOOO nice!). After two and a half weeks, I had had enough and went to the doctor..... who said my cough was only caused by snot dripping down my throat and prescribed a cough medicine that had never been studied in breastfeeding mothers. I was deeply frustrated and a little angry. FINALLY, it was time for us to travel for Tim's convention in California (September 4-6), and as I worked to pack up the house, I started to get better. I researched cough medicine and found a cough suppresent drug that was compatible with breastfeeding and started taking it, and also started using menthol/herb cough drops at night. The first night at Tim's convention was the first night I slept the night through without coughing, and I continued to improve every day.
All this time I was coughing, I was assuming that the cough was just an aftereffect of the flu, and didn't think I was contagious. After Tim's convention, while we were staying in California in preparation for him to fly to China and for me and the kids to visit his sister in Utah, Lily caught the cough! Then Charlotte! So we went to Utah with two coughing girls. Charlotte got over it very quickly, but Lily is still not over it. Then, in Utah, Jack caught it. Lily seems to be getting better, but Jack's cough wakes him up at night, just like it did me. And he's so tired, he's always the first one to bed at night, and there for a few days he was even napping multiple times a day.
So, tonight, Lily vomited. And that was when I said out loud, "Can I be done having sick kids, please?" And then laughed at myself and started to be a little more compassionate for my child who had just puked and felt awful.
So, while everyone has been battling various levels of illness, life has gone on and we've had fun. We were in California for about a week, first at Tim's convention in the middle of nowhere in Marin County (north of San Francisco), then in the San Francisco metropolitan area visiting friends and favorite places. Tim worked during the workdays there, but during the evenings and the one weekend, he spent time with us and we had a great time. We went to the beach, we hiked in the Muir Woods, we visited dear friends that I've really missed (and the kids had a great time playing with their kids), we went to the Palo Alto Junior Museum that Jack has been asking to go to for the last few months, and we went to the park that we used to live near in Palo Alto. Then when Tim went to China, we went to Utah to visit his sister, Jessica, and her daughters, Leslie (almost 5) and Elysia (just turned 2). It was so beautiful to see my kids playing with hers, watching them deepen their bonds, hearing them sing together, and getting to know Jessica better. She is such a faithful and patient woman and I'm so glad I married her brother! Jack and Leslie played pretend games, he introduced her to games and movies on the iPad (which I would have limited much more strictly if he hadn't been so sick and tired), and Lily joined in when she wasn't busy playing by herself. Leslie and Elysia both loved Charlotte, and by the time I'd been there a few days they were pretty gentle with her.
Jack is really honing his math lately. While we were in California, he said "Ten tens is the same as five twenties!" Then in Utah, he said "Four twenties and four fives is a hundred!" When I asked him how he figured that out, he said "Because two twenties and two fives is half a hundred!" (Somehow, "half a hundred" has become absolutely synonymous with "fifty" in Jack's vocabulary.) After we came home, we played Carcassonne, which keeps score with markers on a number line that wraps around and starts over at 50 (so, it runs from 1-49, then if you put your marker back on 0 you pick up a tile with "50" on it and just keep on going). He had his marker on 36 and earned 21 points. I was about to move his marker for him, but I stopped and asked him where his marker would go. He studied the board for a few seconds, then asked me to show him where the 6 was. I showed him, then he put his marker on the 7 and smiled up at me. I asked him how he knew that and he explained that from 36, he would put his marker on the 46, then on the 6, then on the next one after 6. In other words, 21 is made up of 10, 10, and 1.
Here's the thing he's having trouble with: recognizing the numbers 5-9. For some reason, he does this with almost everything academic that he learns: he picks it up from just everyday life, then starts to second-guess and doubt himself and almost completely unlearns it. He used to easily recognize the numbers 1-20, but now he only knows 1-4. He sometimes knows the others at first, but then as soon as he realizes that he just recognized them, he stops saying the number and asks me what number it is. I think that if I stop bragging about his accomplishments so much in his presence, he'll stop feeling so stressed about getting it right.
But even with all this refusing to read the numbers 5-9, he has advanced to being able to read 2-digit numbers; as long as both digits are between 1 and 4 he can read it right off, but if one of the digits is between 5 and 9 he'll ask for the name of that one before he'll tell me what number it is.
It's almost 11pm. Good night!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Jack is a math whiz
Just now, as he was sitting on the potty while I folded laundry nearby, Jack asked "Is twenty twenties something around four hundred?" I told him that it is exactly four hundred, and reminded him that squaring something is multiplying it by itself, just like twenty twenties, so we can say that twenty squared is four hundred.
Math comes easily to him, but names take a long time to take root in his mind. I wonder how long it will be before he remembers the concept of squaring.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)