Lilyisms and Jack learning how to write with Uno

Lily, singing "I Will Go, I Will Do" sang it "I will go, I will probably do..." She loves to sing, and I catch her mixing up the words a lot. "Adam was a prophet, first he was a child! Eena eena eena, in the latter days! Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, he knows the way!" I know "I Am a Child of God" in French and Spanish, and I caught her one day singing the first line in French, the second line in Spanish, and the rest of the song in English. Tim and I both sing "Divina Luz" a lot ("Lead Kindly Light" in Spanish) and she sang it perfectly one day in the car. Just now, she said "Charlotte has cute little legs and fat little rolls!" because I comment on my baby's oh-so-cute fat rolls enough, apparently :D One day last week, Jack wanted to play the card game, Uno. He was really excited b/c he learned the last time we played that one can keep score and play multiple rounds and have a grand winner. He wanted to keep score! I was nursing Charlotte, so rather than just wait for me to be done, he gathered the pen and paper, got an alphabet book to show him how letters are made, drew an "M" for Mommy and a "J" for Jack on the page, and set up the game. He was even so excited that he was writing that he wrote the numbers for the score the first 2 times. After that the paper was full (beginning writers write HUGE!) so I wrote the rest of the numbers. It was so satisfying for me to watch him do all this so cheerfully. If I had sat him down at a table and told him to draw those letters and numbers, he would have fussed and whined and barely tried. I know it's just a start and he's still got a long way to go, but he persevered and learned and even submitted to correction (I showed him how to hold the pen correctly).

Summer flu, nursing Lily, dear friend visited

We caught the summertime flu. Please don't send me lots of sympathy and "Oh I'm so sorry you're sick!" comments, b/c every time we're sick we grow closer together as we all pull together and take care of each other. Yeah, I'd like to gain that family closeness another way, but it's still worth it! I've been re-reading the beginning of this blog, smiling as I remember things I had forgotten, frowning when I read something and simply cannot recall it at all. I'm glad I wrote it when I did, and I wish I had started earlier in Lily's life. The only real failures are giving up and not learning from your mistakes, right? Today I napped with Charlotte while Jack and Lily watched movies. I also did laundry and played with Charlotte, and read to Lily and Jack and got food for them. I nursed Lily a few times... Yes, she is still nursing. And when she's sick like this, I'm really glad; all she ate yesterday was my milk. She's learning some better manners, asking nicely and not throwing a tantrum if I tell her I need to do something else first. She also is VERY sweet about staying carefully in a position to not hurt me (I thought the pain of nursing her would go away when I had Charlotte, but it didn't...). I can see that she doesn't need to nurse as much as she did when she was a toddler, nor as much as she did right after Charlotte was born, but neither of us is quite ready for weaning yet. It was tough right after Charlotte was born; I had my baby in Charlotte, and nursing Lily was painful and awkward. But we persevered (with tears on both sides), and we're in a good place now.

My dear friend came to visit a few weeks ago, with her four kids ages 1 1/2 to 9 1/2. (She doesn't publish her name on her blog, so I won't publish it on mine, but it rhymes with Selena Huf.) I laugh at myself b/c I was there for her youngest son's birth, the one that's holding Charlotte in the picture, and he doesn't usually like me. I feel so miffed and slighted. I say "I saw you come OUT of your mama, kid!" and he still runs and hides every time he sees me. But Charlotte gives me leverage! He LOVES her! So I can get close to him without him screaming, if I have Charlotte! Good night!

Things I don't want to forget: Charlotte cooed and gurgled at me for about an hour, nonstop, after we came to pick her up from Tim's parents' house. She missed me and had to tell me all about it! Lily hardly nursed at all today. The one time she did, I had to stop pretty quickly to take care of Charlotte. Lily started to cry, but she stopped when I suggested she look at a book. I even read it to her. It was our lift-the-flap Baby Jesus book, and after I read it to her, she proceeded to read it to herself out loud. I didn't get to listen to all of it, but what I did hear she got right! Jack asked me what I want for my birthday, and when I told him "Chocolate!", he said he would get me something else so it would be a surprise. I told him it's a good idea to get someone the thing they want, and it will still be a surprise because I don't know what kind of chocolate he'll get me. He was excited! We went out to a fancy restaurant for our 8th anniversary tonight. It was so yummy! Malina sent me a birthday card and I called her to thank her. I love how we always laugh when we talk to each other! She said she decided years ago to not be offended by people because it takes so much energy. I want to be like that! So I will. I love the way my sweet tiny one sleeps soundly as long as I'm cuddled up to her. She'll sleep all night long, only waking once or twice to nurse, and I don't mind that because I can just roll over and nurse her while I go back to sleep! My memory is affected by this depression. I cried last night when I realized how little of Lily's baby days I remember. When Tim and I discussed it, we decided that it's not so much my memory as my recall, because I remember a lot when he reminds me. In any case, writing it down will help!

Is this really the first post since May?

Hmmm, guess so...

Lily turned 2 on May 22nd. I'm loving the 2-year-old stage, it is so intense but so fun. Jack is now just a few days shy of 5 1/2, and I love how big and grown-up he is and yet he still loves to cuddle!

I finally admitted over the summer that this depression was not going to go away without help. I had started some supplements in the spring that were reported to work as well as commercial antidepressants, and I did see the changes that I expected to see, but then somehow in the summer things got hard again and I started seeing a therapist. She works for our church, and was able to counsel me with our faith in mind, and I think that made a WORLD of difference. Our welfare policy is to give people a hand up, not a handout; to teach people how to help themselves instead of just providing for them. And the therapist helped me to identify thought patterns that were destructive and to find ways to defuse them. I felt immediate improvement, and "graduated" in September :D

In June I got to take Jack and Lily to Utah to visit my dear friend and her kids, AND my sister-in-law and her husband and kids. It was a VERY fun trip, with happy cousins playing and best friends reunited. I slept at my sister-in-law's house, and her daughter and my son would wake up in the morning and start playing together, and they never stopped playing together until bedtime when we had to peel them apart. And Lily happily played alongside them, and my sister-in-law and I chatted and I tried to be helpful. My sister-in-law is so wise and gentle, I had a lot of fun watching her parent and run her home; I took notes :D I was also proud of myself for holding my tongue when her husband didn't help with the kids nearly as much as I thought he should. It's hard for me being the wife of SUCH a helpful man, to see men who aren't like him. I feel like EVERY man should be like him! But I held my tongue, and tried to keep an open mind, and he occasionally surprised me with thoughtful comments and spontaneous help. He is a kind man and he is a good provider for his family, and I do like his sense of humor (most of the time).

In July my Granny got sick and I took the kids and flew back to my hometown in Arkansas to go visit her. It wiped our savings but I'm glad we went. My kids go to play with their second cousins, I got to see my Granny and other extended family, and I got to REALLY appreciate some parts of the Southern culture, and some parts of the West Coast culture :D For instance, Southerners are a lot kinder (in general) to kids behaving like kids in public. I felt sympathy and support from the passers-by when Jack threw a tantrum in the hospital. But at the same time, the Southern way of raising kids is a lot harsher, with a lot more yelling and talking down to kids, while the West Coast way of raising kids is a lot gentler and kinder. Or maybe it's just my family. I realized while there, that I have a reason for always falling back into the habit of just barking orders and not playing with my kids: that's the way I was raised, that's the way my cousins were raised, that's the way my mom and aunt and uncle were raised, etc. It's just how it's done. It's not that there's no love there, it's just how they are. I know my mom at least made an effort to tone down her harshness to me, b/c I do NOT remember being yelled at the way everyone was yelling at the kids while I was there.
One thing in their defense, though, is that every time I stepped up and spoke kindly to the children, EVERYONE'S tone would immediately change. They would all soften and be kinder. And they were almost entirely much kinder to my kids than they were to my cousin's kids, so I tried as hard as I could to give their kids the same courtesy. But I was still very glad to come home!

My Granny passed away not too long after I came home. It's hard for me to imagine that I could go to the house in Magnolia where she lived all my life, and she won't be there. It will be interesting to see how the family sticks together without her to gather around. They're selling the house and dividing the proceeds between her three kids; I'm happy my mom will get that financial boost, but sad to see the house leave the family. It's in an AWFUL neighborhood, though, so I guess it's a good thing!

We have a thing for conceiving babies every third August. And we don't even plan it that way, it just happens! This was the first time that I suspected from day 1 that I was pregnant, though. When we got Jack, we'd been trying for months and I had stopped paying attention to every little sign and twinge in my body to evaluate and try to decide if I might be pregnant, so I was actually surprised when the pregnancy test came up positive. And when we got Lily, I hadn't been menstruating for very many months and I assumed it would take more months than that to conceive again, so again I was surprised. This time, as soon as my cycles returned I knew I was fertile, and I knew the day that conception was possible and I enjoyed watching my body for every sign I might have conceived. And we did! Our baby is due on April 23rd, though Jack came 2 1/2 weeks early and Lily came a week late, so due dates don't really mean much to me. I keep track of the exact date b/c I have fun talking about how early or late my babies come, but whenever anyone asks when I'm due I answer with just "April, maybe May."

The nausea/exhaustion has been the worst ever this time, but I'm keeping my food down and not losing weight too terribly fast. I think it's been harder for me to deal with b/c my emotional state is still not 100% healthy, but I also know that my symptoms really are worse this time. But I'm THRILLED to get to have another kid, and so are Tim, Jack, and Lily!

I'm getting tired so I better wrap this up, but one more thing: we're moving to Texarkana next month! SO EXCITED!

Jack

I'm watching Ponyo with my kids while Tim works late. In the part where Ponyo finds Sosoke for the first time after she becomes human, she is so excited to find him, and he has never seen her as a human before, and his mother is a little taken aback to see a little girl hugging him so tightly. (She jumps into his arms and wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.) And I wondered, how would I feel if I saw a little girl hugging my 5-year-old son like that?

To my surprise, I suddenly wished he could find a friend who loved him that much.

My son is such a sweet little boy. He tries so hard to make friends at parks and everywhere we go. And it has been quite a learning experience moving here and realizing how important his friends are to him. He's had a few experiences with mean kids that have first broken my heart and then made me SO proud of my confident little boy. I think I've written about a few of them before, but the last one was different:

We were in the pharmacy waiting for some medicine to be ready for Lily. A little girl of about 7 or so was there with her mother. She liked Lily (who wouldn't?) and liked to give her things to make her happy, talk to her, clap her hands, and just smile at her. But she disapproved of Jack's exuberance and his way of running around and singing to entertain himself. She rolled her eyes at him many times and said "Oh! He is SO annoying!" but it had no effect on him. She got bolder and told him to his face "You are annoying everyone here!" And that hit home. He crumpled and cried on the floor. I kept shaking or nodding my head at him, trying to be encouraging but I wonder if maybe he thought I was saying the little girl was right?

Her mother was mortified, gave her daughter a stern lecture in another language and picked Jack up and brought him to me and put him on my lap (I would have picked him up myself but Lily was in my lap!). I held him and told him I loved him and he wasn't annoying me. I told him I liked watching him run around and I thought he was very cute. I told him that other people thought he was cute, too, and that one of the grownups had even told me so. And he looked up at me with wonder, and stopped crying. I told him that if any grownups were annoyed, then they just looked away, and that's what anyone should do if they're bothered by anything. And he was back to normal! He ran and skipped and danced and sang, and Lily did too :D

We passed the little girl once and Jack told her "If you're annoyed you need to just look away!" And she tried to hard to roll her eyes at him but he was past her and never saw.

A woman approached me to tell me how wonderful she thought my children were, and as she walked away I told Jack what she had said and he just wriggled and squeaked with joy.

That was the first time I've ever seen anyone be able to hurt Jack's feelings (outside of his immediate family). He's had kids be mean to him before at it was as if he didn't even hear them. Part of it, I think, is just part of growing up, noticing and desiring the approval of others. But I also think I need to work on how I praise him; give encouragement for how he acts and what he thinks, praise accomplishments less. I would love if he could somehow manage to grow up without worrying about whether the world approves of his actions and instead focus on whether God approves of his character.

So here's a tribute to my Jack, a little over a month after his fifth birthday:

He loves to look at the pictures in books, but he loves even more to have books read to him. He still loves the Narnia books, so much so that we bought the audiobooks and he listens to them in the car every time we drive anywhere. He loves Lily to pieces, still, and they play together every day. He teaches her how to play with his toys, and he covers her with blankets and plays peekaboo with her. He hides with her and tells her to be quiet so they can hide from me, and shrieks with joy when I find them. He gives me rubs on my feet and arms and wipes away his slobber when he gives me kisses on my arm. He loves to play games and can play, understand, and even win games rated for 8-year-olds (as long as they don't require reading).

He is finding the happy medium between always doing what Lily wants, and resisting so that she can learn that she doesn't always get what she wants. (As in, if she's taking something out of his hand, should he let her have it to make her happy, or should he keep it so she learns not to take things from people?) He loves to help her be happy by bringing her toys or books she loves when she's sad (in the middle of a diaper change or getting strapped into the car). He loves to cuddle her when she wakes up, and is pretty good at not getting his feelings hurt when she wants him to stay back until she's fully awake. He loves to tell other kids on the playground that she's his little sister.

He resists being taught to read; one night he was fussing b/c I told him that I needed to get everyone ready for bed as soon as I had completed a task, and he wanted me to read to him before we went to bed. I told him I could give him a lesson in reading if he wanted to, or we could get ready for bed. He chose bed! But no matter how much he resists being formally taught, he is picking up reading skills: he knows almost all the letters and the sounds they make, he can recognize a few short words and he is VERY good at finding words by the letters they begin with, and he can read symbols and pictures. If he sees a list of picture instructions, he loves to "read" it to you: "Step one: set up the walls. Step two: put icing on the roof. Step three: put candies on the icing. Step four: all done!"

I have not tried to formally teach him any math, but he knows how to count past 10 and add and subtract one. He can also add two reliably and he's starting to add three and four to small numbers (lower than 5). Today when we played a board game, he was splitting up every five he encountered into two and three, and he split a few sixes into two threes as well. (I hope that wasn't too confusing!) He told me almost a year ago "Mommy, two twos is four!" and has never forgotten that. He recognizes the symbols for numbers, and is starting to recognize all six faces of a die ("a die" as in what you roll when you're playing a board game, the plural of which is "dice") without having to count the dots every time.

He loves to learn about how the body works, and is always happy when I find books about the body at the library. Like mother like son? He also loves to play computer games, but that is such a universal trait in children that I can't really blame Tim! He's allotted an hour a day and I am so pleased at how well he budgets his time. He plays while I nurse Lily down for her nap, and as soon as I come out from my room he logs out and we play games and read books until Lily fusses for me. If his hour runs out and I still haven't come out, he plays quietly or comes softly into my room and just lays and cuddles; he occasionally falls asleep there but only if he hasn't had enough sleep the night before or if he's sick. He really is old enough now to not need a nap; he doesn't even fall asleep in the car most of the time.

He can reliably watch his sister on a playground for a minute or two, long enough for me to run to the car to grab a toy or shoes. I know this b/c I've tested him a couple of times! He can also watch her in our front yard, but only for a short time, and he gets less reliable after the first couple of minutes. (Hey, he is only 5 still!) He has learned how to defend himself against her when she wants to bite or pinch him, and he almost always succeeds in stopping her from hurting him, without hurting her in the process.

He can say prayers now with no help. His prayers almost always include a request for another baby! He is getting better and better at telling us scripture stories at night (our nightly routine is that we first watch a scripture story, then ask him to tell it back to us so we know he understood it, then we each take turns talking about our favorite part of the story). He gave his first talk in Primary on Sunday! It involved jumping down from the stand and running to the other side of the room (he was Samuel the Lamanite), so of course it was a hit. He was actually a bit shy at the beginning but I encouraged him and got the talk started by telling them he was going to be Samuel the Lamanite. After he had done his act, he happily repeated after me the words we had discussed the day before. Lots of people told me he did a great job, but sadly, nobody told him (that he remembered), so I told him after church how many people loved it.

I love going out with him. He's so well-behaved most of the time, and is very good at staying close so I don't worry he's gone. When I don't know where he is, I call out "Where's my Jack?" and he always hears and says "Here I am!"

Yesterday was a hard day of many lessons. At the grocery store, he asked for a treat, and I told him he could get it. He asked for another and I OK'd that one too. He asked for another and I said no. This pattern continued, with some yeses and some nos, until he whined and fussed after I said no to something. I said "Oh, so if you fuss at me for saying no to you, then you must not be getting enough nos so you can be used to them. I'll put back one of the treats I said you could get." And of course he screamed and threw a fit. So I repeated what I'd said and put back another treat from our buggy. As I was rummaging in the cart for the treat I was putting back, my arm was right next to where he was sitting, and he angrily tried to hurt me by poking me hard with the buggy's seatbelt. I swatted his hand and scolded him, and he cried piteous tears. I apologized for hurting his feelings and slapping his hand, but he had to walk from then on instead of getting to ride in the buggy. And he whined and fussed all the rest of the shopping trip. We went to the next store and I was picking out some chocolate chips to make cookies with, and he excitedly asked if he could pick out some candy chips too, and I told him that since he threw a fit the last time I told him no, he was going to be told no a lot more often, including now. And he threw a fit. I put back the chocolate chips I was thinking of getting and said "Oh that's a shame, I really wanted to get those." He proceeded to yell "Not fun day!" (as in, "I'm having a not-fun day!") while I finished my shopping. I asked him to consider the things he had done to contribute to his not-fun day, and he glared at me.

We got to the register and I asked him to put the things from the buggy onto the sliding belt, and he said "You haven't earned any help from me!" I picked him up from the buggy and deposited him on the floor, where he threw another screaming fit. At this point I looked for some encouragement from the person standing in line behind me; I found none. She looked at me in disgust, with a "I can't believe you did that to your child!" look on her face. Oh well! I was rather proud of myself for keeping my cool, but I wasn't going to be able to keep it up much longer. I was racking my brain, trying to think of a logical way to handle his refusal to help and his comment about me not earning his help. I paid for my items and walked out of the store, purposely not looking at Jack or calling to him to follow me. Of course he did follow me, and we made it safely to the car. Thanks to our audiobook, we didn't have to speak to each other or drive in silence.

When we got home, Jack saw the cereal we had gotten and said it looked yummy. I pointed out to him that I had gotten it for him, and reminded him he had said I hadn't earned his help. He said over and over how yummy the cereal looked, and even asked me what he could do to help! We repeated that with a few other foods I'd gotten, and as he was helping put them away cheerfully, I asked him if he was helping to make up for what he had said. He said he was, and I told him the best thing to do was to tell me he was sorry for saying that. He did, and I told him he could hug me, and he jumped into my arms. I told him he could tell me he loves me, and he did, and I hugged him and told him I loved him too, and we ended up having a fabulous evening.

(Monday was also a hard day of many lessons. We started doing chores again, and every time he complained about a chore I gave him another chore to do. At one point he actually had a list of 8 chores tacked outside his room that he was not allowed to leave his room until the list was done. Luckily Tim came home and intervened, or I think that list would have grown all evening! Tim held him and soothed him and they got started on the list together, and in the end the list was done almost entirely by Jack. And the next morning when I told Jack it was time to get started on chores, he did so with gusto and no fussing!)

THAT is my son. He is passionate and intense, but he loves and forgives easily with that same passion. He loves to learn as long as he doesn't realize he is, and he loves to help if he feels like he can do a good job. He has a gift for being kind and loving, and I am so glad he is my son!

Our newborn, brown-haired boy. Born April 22, 2006 in Texarkana, TX.

3 1/2 months old, on the boxes as we were moving from our house in Texarkana, AR.

6 months old in our condo in Richardson, TX

1 year old, still in Richardson. See those beautiful curls!

18 months old

4 1/2 years old, in California

My big 5-year-old!

A Day in the Life, Perfectly Modeled

Yesterday was one of those rare perfect days; it came on the end of a weeklong battle with a black cloud in my soul, which made it even more perfect. As much as I would love to spend the next hour crafting (my usual activity after kids go to bed), I felt like I had to record this day so I could read back over it someday later when it gets tough again.

We had two activities planned, which is more than I like. So I prayed for guidance knowing what needed to happen today and being able to let go of what we didn't need to do. As much fun as activities outside the home are, and with the temptation to focus on what we'd miss out on if we didn't go to one, I have to make an effort to think of what we'd miss out on if we didn't stay home. Lily is potty-training and loves to be naked, so going out can sometimes be a struggle: we have to clothe her while she is throwing a screaming tantrum (and of course by "we" I mean "I"), and she often won't stop crying until we're BACK HOME and she can be naked again. She is just so offended that I clothe her without her permission. This REALLY reduces my incentive to go out every day! Tim introduced her to the concept of wearing clothes to keep warm, I turned the heater down a wee bit, and together we have her wearing clothes voluntarily about half the time!

So, after a lovely morning of eating breakfast together, we bid Daddy goodbye and started getting our morning chores (dishes). We got them done quickly and cheerfully, and I told Jack that since we worked quickly we could play a little bit before we had to go. He loved that, and immediately said we would read library books; we did, and then I said it was time to go. Jack said he'd rather stay home and read (which is VERY rare, he is almost always the most excited one about an outing and the first one to be ready to go), and when I started to clothe Lily she immediately tugged her clothes back off and screamed "NO!" and ran away. I decided that must be a sign from Heaven and said "OK, we'll stay home and read more books!" Jack was happy, Lily nursed, and I reveled in enjoying my kids.

My kids have a touch of diarrhea. This would normally be no big deal, but Lily is potty training. She is doing remarkably well, thankfully, but she refuses to use any public toilet. This makes me want even more to just stay home more, at least for the next week or so while she gets over the bug and cements her pottying skills. She's been pooping at least 5 times a day for the past few days; she's only had a couple of accidents and they were when Tim was home to help. I am amazed at her ability to feel the urge to poop and run to the toilet in time to not have an accident! She pauses in the middle of nursing, reading, or eating without being prompted; I ask her if she wants to go potty if she's engrossed in playing and it's been an hour or more. She still gets a little surly if I push too hard for her to go potty if she's busy playing, but she is making improvement. (She used to flat-out refuse to go potty if I pushed her too hard to go, and I would end up diapering her just to protect my floors and make a point.) She hasn't had a diaper or an accident in 2 days!

So, we read books, and Lily went potty a few times. It occurred to me that if we had gone out, she would have had poop in her training pants, and I said that to Jack and he said "It's a good thing we stayed home!" We ate lunch and sweet Lily yawned and picked at her food, then asked for me to hold her, and I put her down for her nap. Sweet Jack played happily with his toys while I nursed her down, and when I was done, we played with toys and board games and puzzles for almost 2 hours while Lily slept. I have a bad habit of putting Jack off when he asks to play with me, and I realized that I was telling him no a LOT more often than I was playing with him. So today I focused on playing with my kids in all my free time, and we had such a happy home!

We played with a wooden ball track that Jack and Tim got me for my birthday. I realized that it is not good for running the ball through over and over, it's better for building a track and using it just once or twice. I got bored with it, and rather than suffer through for Jack's sake, I decided that it would be better to play something else I liked than give him the idea that I didn't like playing with him. I offered him the choice of playing with that toy by himself or playing something else with me, and he didn't have to consider at all: he chose playing with me! We played a board game that's pretty short, so we played it again. Then we got out a 1000-piece puzzle that Tim's grandma gave us for Christmas, and Jack got his 24-piece puzzle that we got from the dollar store, and we worked on them side-by-side. He did his puzzle all by himself! He's had the skill, but I didn't ever have the patience to sit back and let him do it. It was easier for me to let him since I was working on my own puzzle. Jack got a little frustrated when he found pieces that he didn't know where to put, but I told him to try a new piece, and he did, and he was rather pleased with himself when he was done; I was even more pleased with him than he was and I think I may have overdone the praise, but I'd rather err on the side of too much than too little :D

We got out another board game when Jack got bored of watching me do the big puzzle, and before we could start playing it Lily woke up and needed to nurse. Jack didn't complain at all, and he was ecstatic as usual when Lily decided to stay awake, even though it meant we were done playing the board game. (I tried to put the game away before Lily saw, but she did, and threw a fit, but then she calmed down and said "Pweese?" How could I not get the game back out when she exhibited such self-control?) He happily let her explore the pieces of the game, then happily helped me put it away while Lily was looking the other way, then helped Lily go potty.

Yes, by the way, Jack loves to help Lily go potty. It's really rather remiss of me that I have yet to put a stool up to the toilet so Lily can get on and off all by herself, but I really just don't have any motivation now that I have a 4-year-old who loves to pick his sister up and plop her down on the potty seat! (And in my defense, we own THREE different-sized stools, and NONE of them are the exact right height. Too small is no help, and too big is actually no help either. It has to be EXACTLY the right height to be useful to a wobbly toddler.) He helps her get out of her clothes (all of them, b/c that is what she insists on), picks her up, and sets her down as gently as he can (which isn't very, but apparently it's gentle enough b/c Lily loves it). Then he sits down on a stool in front of her and sings to her and talks to her and watches and listens for her to actually use the toilet, and he proclaims loudly to me if she does. He hasn't helped her wipe yet, but she is actually not too bad at wiping herself if she's only peed. And I am usually standing by through all this, but it is so nice if I'm right in the middle of some tricky cooking and Lily runs to the potty, to be able to say "Jack, quick, Lily needs help going potty!" and he drops whatever he's doing and runs to her aid! He has learned how to tell if Lily wants off the potty even though she didn't do anything on it (she lifts up her legs to push herself up and will do her best to stand up right on the toilet seat, but she'll happily lean into outstretched arms instead); those two are learning how to get along with each other and I am so happy to see it!

I got Lily dressed (and she cooperated!) and printed out a map to the park we were headed to, and out we went. A homeschool group met there today and I wanted to meet them; Jack wanted to get out and play with other kids, too. They were really nice, and well-mixed. All styles from hardcore academic to unschooling, and all ages from infant to teen. And they're not too far away, and they meet on a day that works well for me. I think we'll be going back there! Jack played with the boys while they dug trenches in sand, and he had a blast; Lily explored all over but REALLY wanted to climb on the wagons and tricycles brought there by other park-goers. She was pretty upset when I told her not to, and I had to nurse her to appease her. And all too soon it was time to come home and make dinner; Jack didn't want to and he really wanted to throw a fit, but he didn't. Hallelujah!

Dinner was a throw-together-whatever-makes-a-nutritious-meal night. Grocery day is Saturday and I REFUSE to go to the store otherwise; our weekly budget is $80 and I REFUSE to go over it. This makes for interesting dinners, but I see it as a challenge and had fun putting together our meal: scrambled eggs, plain noodles, salad, and smoothie. The kids loved it, and this was the first dinner in my memory that we didn't have to argue with Jack about finishing his food!

After dinner we lazed on the couch for about 15 minutes, then started bedtime: brushing teeth, flossing, pottying, putting on pajamas, saying nightly prayer, and watching a scripture video in Jack's bed and then discussing the video. Jack is getting better and better at telling the story back to us, and he will occasionally ask questions about what he doesn't understand. He often will draw parallels between the scripture story and either a secular story or something that really happened. Then I laid down with him and rubbed his feet and told him "his story", in which I rehearse everything he did that day and point out the good things, and sometimes point out what he needs to improve on. He said his favorite part of the day was playing at the park, but playing with me at home was his other favorite part. And I sang him his song, and left him with a kiss.

Tim read books to Lily in our bed while I was with Jack, and I came and she excitedly showed me the book she was looking at, then said "Mo moweee!" ("More more") and laid down. In other words, "I'm ready to nurse to sleep now!" And she did, and it was only 8:30! (She's been having trouble going to sleep at bedtime lately; we've had trouble getting bedtime started at 7 o'clock, and every time we start it late, she either conks out nursing on Jack's bed or stays up WIRED until after 10!)

My kids got lots of playtime with me, and I got to see how much they are growing up. It was a good day :D Jack is a big grown-up boy already, but when he gets more playtime with me I can see him stretch even more. He is such a delight to have around! And Lily is just growing by leaps and bounds; she's potty-training and her vocabulary is exploding. She repeats almost every one-syllable word we say, she says the name of everyone in our family ("Mommeeeee! Daddeeeeee! Gack! Yahweeee!"). Two phrases of hers that I love are "Pweese?" and "Hup me!" (help me). And she whispers "Pooooo pooooo! Peeeee peeeee!" as she runs helter-skelter down the hall to the potty. That kid is such a joy!

My kids picked their clothes. This is a usual occurrence for Jack, but Lily doesn't always, and she especially doesn't always look THIS cute in her outfit!

Hiking at Fremont Older Open Space, the closest nature preserve south of us. Tim wore Lily b/c I was wearing a baby I watch every Saturday. We go out to explore nature every Saturday, and I watch the baby every Saturday, so this time we experimented with taking him with us, and it worked quite well :D

Biking just north of Lake Chabot (pronounced "sha-BOW"), near Oakland. One of Tim's programmer friends in Oakland was throwing a party that night, so we explored the nature around Oakland :D We parked at the top of the hill, biked down as fast as we felt comfortable, and walked up. Oy!

Gratitude

I'm grumpy. I need to count my blessings:

-Lily is all better, with just a bit of a cough left over. Even that is taken care of by breathing steam from the shower for just a few minutes.

-Jack is patient and sweet, even when I'm not.

-Tim has been so helpful this last week and a half.

-There are delicious things to eat in the fridge and cabinets. Some of them are even good for me!

-This cold at its worst is not even as bad as the flu. At its best it's like not even being sick at all, with the exception of contagion keeping us house-bound.

-Our house really is lovely, and Tim tidied it all week to keep it so :D

-There are little seeds working on germinating in my garden plot!

-Lily is learning how to be free of diapers and how to dress and undress herself.

-Jack is learning alphabet letters and Articles of Faith.

-We FINALLY got a bedtime routine firmly entrenched in our home, and the kids LOVE it. They fall asleep quickly after we put them to bed, and if we stay up and try to party, they poop out on us by 8:30!

-Lily is learning how to put puzzles together, and it is so much fun to watch her dexterity improve :D

-Jack is learning how to put his computer together as Tim moves it all over the house and sets it up in different places.

-Just that I have these wonderful people in my family! They are all a delight to be around!

-We have knowledge and ability to apply it. We are healthy and happy :D

-I know God loves me and is happy with (at least some of) my efforts.

-I have scriptures printed and bound, and also in many different forms on my electronic devices. I am ALWAYS able to read them.

-I have a temple recommend (and Tim does, too). Now to coordinate babysitting on a temple trip...

I think I'll go do that now!