The Talk I Gave in Church Today

Introduce our family - We grew up in the same stake. I was in AR, he was in TX, our stake center was in LA. I was an only child, he was the second oldest of 7. I was a convert, he is the descendant of pioneers. And since he's not here to defend himself, I can tell you that he is the most patient, honest, righteous, and attractive man that I have ever met. We have a running argument about which one of us is the lucky one, and I can tell you unequivocally that I am :D Last week he stayed home with our sick 4-year-old son, this week it was him that was sick. He was worried y'all might think he's inactive, but that certainly isn't the case. He's probably listening to conference talks right now, actually! So he gets the words of apostles and prophets, and y'all get stuck with my ramblings. Hmm, maybe he is the lucky one after all…

We married in 04 after he got home from serving a mission in southern CA, Jack was born in 06, Lily was born last year, and we want about 15 more kids now. Tim's mom did such a good job raising her 7, and Tim was high enough in that order that he helped with his younger siblings a lot, I feel like as long as I have his help and his mom's advice, it can't be too hard, right? Jack is a very helpful boy: he rinses the dishes after I wash them, he picks up his toys and Lily's without complaint, he brings Lily books or toys to help distract her when she's sad, and he's a very obedient boy when we go out. Strangers on the street and in the stores are always telling me what wonderful kids I have, and I have to admit I can't be modest about it; I always reply "I know, I'm such a lucky mom!" Lily explores everything with intense curiosity and does NOT like to be told that she can't have an object she'd like to learn about, but her tantrums are almost always easily defused by simply finding something else as interesting as the first thing she wanted. She dances to music with such an adorable smile, points to herself and says "This, this!" when she wants you to tell her her name is Lily, and tells me she wants to eat by smacking her lips. She's 14 months old and halfway potty trained, but not saying any words but uh-oh.

Tim is a programmer, and I like to knit :D

Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly

Section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants is a plea for help from the Prophet Joseph Smith as he languished in Liberty Jail, and a reply from an ever-loving Father in Heaven. It is a beautiful piece of scripture. At the very end is this promise:

D&C 121:45-46

45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

What an amazing promise!

Ensign, August 1989

President Gordon B. Hinckley, First Counselor in the First Presidency

In Search of Peace and Freedom, First Presidency Message

"May I comment on this marvelous promise. It has been my privilege on various occasions to converse with presidents of the United States and important leaders in other governments. At the close of each visit, I have reflected on the rewarding experience of standing with confidence in the presence of an acknowledged leader. And then I have thought, what a wonderful thing, what a marvelous thing it would be to stand with confidence—unafraid and unashamed and unembarrassed—in the presence of God. This is the promise held out to every virtuous man and woman.

I know of no greater promise made by God to man than this promise made to those who let virtue garnish their thoughts unceasingly."

What is virtue? The Guide to the Scriptures says it is "Integrity and moral excellence, power and strength, or sexual purity." I would like to focus on the first part of that definition, and save that second part for people of a sterner character. (And part of my reason is b/c I don't want to be the one to give the talk that makes all the kids go home and ask their parents questions that parents didn't want them asking yet :D)

Integrity, moral excellence, power and strength should garnish our thoughts unceasingly. In other words (I'm used to rephrasing things in terms my 4-year-old can understand), we should ALWAYS think about the best things we possibly can. Proverbs 23:7 "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." Our thoughts eventually make themselves known by coming out in actions. Should we not, then, think on the wonderful and glorious things of the gospel, instead of dwelling on the smut and filth that we find ourselves surrounded by? I discovered this for myself this past week. With the overturning of Proposition 8 by a federal judge, there was a lot of internet chatter. I made the mistake of reading the comments on the news articles; I was searching for someone, anyone, to be as dismayed as I was at the news, but all it was was hate and rudeness. By the end of the day I was in a foul mood, and took it out on my poor innocent children. Thankfully I have a husband who was cheerful and patient, and we survived. How much better would our day have gone if I had read scriptures instead of rude comments?

A noted educator (Charlotte Mason) once made the claim that the mind is not an empty bag to fill, but a living organism that needs information to flourish. Like a plant given polluted air and soil, our minds will not reach their full potential if we surround ourselves with toxic waste. Conversely, if we fill our days with the words of Christ and His servants, think on the beauty that we can become!

Think of how much our Heavenly Father loves us. There is NOTHING that He has done that was not done for our good; there has been NOTHING that could have been done for our salvation and exaltation that He has not already done. He gave us a world and a body whereby we may learn the lessons we need to learn in order to be great. He organized us into families for the same reasons, and so that we may help each other. He speaks to us through many channels of communication: personal prayer, acts of service from others, the Holy Ghost, the scriptures, and His chosen servants, both local and church-wide. He gives us commandments to help us find our way back to him. He sent His only begotten, His precious Son, to atone for the sins that we would commit in spite of all His help. And He forgives us freely when we truly repent. Are we not blessed?

Think of the example Jesus Christ set when He was on the earth. He served, loved, and taught. He fed the hungry, healed the sick, raised the dead. He loved the children and His earthly mother. And after His resurrection, He visited the people in other parts of the world who had not had the privilege of walking with Him in His mortal life. How lucky we are to have lived after His life, and to have the scriptures which tell us of Him, available to us in so many forms! We have paper books of different sizes to fill different needs, and now we even have scriptures on our phones and iPads. One of the highlights of my day is my daughter's naptime. There are so many things I can do when she's asleep, but I find that if I first open the Gospel Library app and read some words of Christ, my mind is so much more at peace than if I just start on my to-do list.

Think of the specific topics spoken of at our most recent General Conference. Did you notice that our last conference seemed to be aimed at parents? Or was it just because I have young children?

Think of your family, friends, and neighbors, and how you can serve them. Do you know someone who could use a phone call, even if you only have 5 minutes to say "I thought of you today and wanted to tell you I love you."? Would your kids like to help you make a meal for someone in need, or a card for someone in a nursing home?

And I don't know about y'all, but this is EXACTLY what I need to accomplish my daily work. As I raise and care for the next generation of Caswells, I need the Holy Ghost as my constant companion.

Bear testimony of the worldwide church and the Atonement.

Flying Solo at Church; Jack Learning to Read

I gave a talk today in church. It was quite interesting; Tim is still getting over the flu, so he stayed home, and since he's still getting over the flu, he couldn't watch the kids for me. I hoped to be able to sit next to a mom I knew, so she could watch the kids while I gave my talk. My kids' temperaments are such that I can leave them in a pew and they'll do fine, I just wanted to make sure someone I knew would be in charge so that IF something went wrong, they'd be taken care of. I ended up leaving home late, which greatly lowered my chances of even getting to sit in the chapel at all, so when I got there and there was an open spot right next to a mom I know, I rejoiced! I breakfasted my kids while the first speaker gave his talk, then I got up and gave my talk (which I'll post later), and my kids did great! Jack sat and listened (and told me later he wasn't able to listen to all of it, which I thought was cute), and Lily did too until the guy sitting behind her was unable to resist her overwhelming cuteness. He picked her up and sat her in his lap, and she immediately crumpled into tears! Poor kid, poor guy! So the mom I sat next to took her out; luckily I could see that she was fine, or I would have had to stop RIGHT THEN. But within a few seconds, HER daughter was crying! Her older kids took care of their youngest sister, but it wasn't good enough. I ended with my testimony and skedaddled :D And Lily was fine, and my friend's daughter was fine too. So my talk wasn't quite long enough, but I was able to give every last word that I had prepared, so I would have ended soon whether there were crying daughters or not. (I guess the crying kids just saved the congregation from my rambling to take up time!)

THEN I got to help with Jack's class! That was AWESOME! I was a little worried he'd be clingy and disobedient, the way he was back in Texas when I was called to Primary and was in there with him every week. But he did great :D He hugged and kissed me goodbye, hugged and kissed Lily goodbye, sat in his spot, then noticed that I was still there in the back, and he wanted to come sit with me. I told him he still needed to sit with his class and he didn't argue, and sat with his class and participated. They did a memory game, with kids coming up to take turns playing, and Jack called out a couple of times that he wanted a turn, but he never got one, and he didn't fuss about it at all. Then his class went to their classroom, and I was amazed he did so well there too. His teacher had a love for her students that they could feel, and they behaved really well for her. She didn't seem to have any groundbreaking ideas for keeping them in line (which I was expecting since she took Jack from whiny clingy disobedient to happy cheerful obedient), just love and the Holy Ghost. (Maybe her usual helper is the magic-worker, but she's on vacation and it's her job I was filling.) She expected them all to raise their hands to speak, which I never would have thought of since they're all FOUR YEARS OLD, but she just reminded them gently at the beginning of class, then ignored them if they didn't raise their hands. She never had to remind them again, and none of them cried or fussed about being ignored. She rewarded them with stars by their names on the chalkboard; one of the girls tried to get competitive about that ("I've got more stars than you do!"), which is exactly why I wouldn't be using stars by names, but she was the only one who tried and she forgot about it after a while. So it worked out pretty well, and they got lots of stars :D

A couple of times, I was tempted to remind Jack not to do nasty 4-year-old things like lick his hands and pick his nose, but then I noticed that other kids were doing similar nasty things and I wouldn't dream of asking them not to (unless it was REALLY nasty...), so I refrained. I remembered that the very first time I was in Primary with Jack, I treated him like I would have treated any Primary kid, and it went fabulously. I lost that idea somewhere in the following months, and his behavior (and mine) deteriorated :(

Tim's better! He's about 90% or so. He's still weak, and gets tired easily if he over-exerts himself, but he's fever-free and cheerful :D He first came down with it Thursday-ish, though, so he's supposed to be quarantined until Tuesday regardless of how well he feels (flu is considered contagious until 48 hours after last fever, or 5 days after first fever, whichever comes last). I didn't let him go home teaching today, or wash the car (yes, he wanted to go wash the car. Seriously. He can't hold Lily for very long, but he thinks he can scrub the car by hand. ????), but since he came down with this flu at work and probably got it from his coworkers, I'll let him go to work tomorrow if he's still feeling great. (I probably have enough power to keep him home if I really insist on it, but I'd have to have a good reason, and I don't! Marriage isn't about power struggles anyway :D)

I cross-stitched! I'm getting into a bit of a habit of crafting a bit on Sundays. I have to be careful to not let Tim do all the childcare while I craft, which is hard b/c I love knitting/crocheting/sewing/stitching/etc., but I can do it if I put forth the effort. Today I picked up my cross-stitch Christmas stocking again, for the first time in a year or so, and I'm so glad I did. I'd love to get it done by this Christmas! Jack is getting old enough to pick his stocking out, so I'd love to get on to that :D I can't wait to be making something for my son. I crocheted diaper covers for him when he was a baby, but that's really not the same! He was a baby, and honestly the diaper cover was more for my appreciation than for his.

Speaking of making things for my kids, I've decided I want to make scrapbooks for them. One scrapbook for each kid, documenting the important things of their lives for them to remember when they're grown and gone. Ambitious? I figure no one scrapbook will take up much of my time at once; the big investment will be catching up Jack's to his 5th year and Lily's to her 2nd (remember, we celebrate birthdays at the END of a year, so after our birthday we start working on our next year, ie my 4-year-old son is in his fifth year and my 1-year-old daughter is in her second year :D). I think that'll be fun; I've never been much for scrapbooking, preferring to make a digital photo book and have it printed, but I like the idea of a scrapbook for each of my kids. A dear friend of mine keeps a journal for each of her kids that is in the form of letters to them; she writes in them periodically when they do something noteworthy. I think that is just so neat, but I want pictures to be saved too, so scrapbook it is.

I'm having fun creating things :D I've never thought of myself as a creative person at all, so I'm really pleased to discover that I am, and I'm actually good at some of it :D

Tim's only older sibling, Jessica, had a baby at 1:26 this morning! I have got to be the most excited person about this (except her and her husband and their daughter and their respective parents, of course). I love how so many bits of her experience were so much like mine: her first was early, and born in the hospital. Her second was a healthier pregnancy b/c of better nutrition, and was born at home, and was a week late, all just like me (except my second was one day later than hers, but that's a very minor detail). I told her yesterday that I didn't mind a phone call at 3am to tell me the good news; sure enough, my phone rang at 3:12am! I had kiddos to take care of (nursing Lily back to sleep, then taking Jack to the potty), but once they were back to sleep I called her back. It was so fun to talk to her at 4am about birth and a new baby and just get to share her joy :D

I'm so baby-hungry, btw. I keep noticing pregnancy symptoms that my body is faking, I want a baby so badly. I dream of being pregnant, I even dreamed of adopting a 3-year-old! Chances are 96% that I won't conceive until my cycle starts again; it started when Jack was past his second birthday, so I'm counting on repeating exactly what happened last time. We're pretty sure we will get to have at least one more baby, so my task now is to be patient. I don't see anything wrong with eagerly anticipating my chance to bring another precious spirit to Earth, I just don't need to let that longing get in the way of taking care of the wonderful children I already have :D In some ways they make it easier, b/c they keep me busy (!), but in some ways they make it harder. They've been SO VERY GOOD lately, so helpful with each other and so cute and so sweet, it's exactly that good behavior that makes me want more kids!

I've been doing the daily themes with Jack's "schooling", and that's been working great. I can tell I'm getting a little burned out; I've been slacking in my own personal scripture study, and that certainly affects how well I perform as a mother and educator. But I think I need to add a couple more things to our daily schooling: scripture study and memorization. I know memorization isn't the best way to learn 99% of the things we need to learn, but I feel pretty strongly that we need to have some words of the Lord stored in our heads for us to ponder whenever the need arises. Jack memorized 2 Articles of Faith earlier this year, before we moved, so I know he is old enough. I'd like to work on memorizing some scriptures, too, so we can work on it together :D

I'd also like our family to learn a little German. Ambitious, much? Tim's going to Germany at the end of next month for a conference, and we have a neighbor from Germany, so why not? Even if we only learn a few words, I'd like to put the idea in Jack's head that we can learn to speak another language. I have a lofty dream that our homeschooling family will learn a new language every year, and culminate the year with a trip to a country where they speak that language. I think in reality we'll be doing well to get to do that even just once, but I refuse to give up on the idea! What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun? I don't give up on my dreams unless there's a better one to replace them with :D I dreamed once of being a doctor; I still hold out that I'll do it one day, but for now I'm doing something even better!

Jack is working on reading skills! And I know this b/c I'm reading a book called "Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn -- and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less" by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff (what a mouthful). One of the really important things I'd like to mention is that reading skills are developed as the child develops, and simply cannot be rushed. Some studies have indicated that children who are rushed into "reading" too early (and they're usually not even reading, just recognizing words they've learned) don't do any better in school, and may even be surpassed by their peers in just a few years. Children learn reading by being read to and talked to, holding conversations about their books and telling the stories back to their parents. Children who learn to read in this natural way, if they do learn to read early b/c of the richness of their environment (LOTS of reading, LOTS of storytelling, LOTS of natural conversation with parents and loved ones), will do better throughout their school years and will even do better in life after school.

I'm still in the beginning of the book, and I've learned so much, and it's made me so excited to see the things they're talking about in Jack's (and Lily's!) development :D He's working on math skills, as well, but reading is his big thing right now.

Lily's language development is doing the exact same things Jack's did. We put Jack in speech therapy b/c his pediatrician was adamant, but I was indifferent about it the whole way through. I enjoyed his speech therapy, but I'm pretty sure it didn't make any difference in when he decided to start talking. He simply didn't want to talk; there was nothing wrong with him. I was a little worried about letting him be behind b/c he didn't talk as early as he "should", but once he started talking he surpassed his age level within 2 months! Being able to see the milestones of Lily's speech development, I'm positive that there is nothing wrong with her as well. She just doesn't want to talk, just like Jack, but she is listening and learning. She'll probably continue to follow Jack's precedent in this, and surpass her age level soon after she begins to actually talk.

Which may not be too far off, b/c she said "Shoes" all afternoon. According to the book I'm reading, a word doesn't really count as a first word if it's not used correctly. Well, she said shoes today when holding or pointing to shoes!

In honor of Tim's sister, here are pictures of happy cousins playing together:

Jack liked to get in the way of the camera when I was trying to take a picture of his cousin :P but I got some good pics that way!

Leslie, Jack's cousin! Notice how similar their smiles are? She's 18 months younger than Jack, and 18 months older than Lily. They visited about 7 or 8 months ago, when Jessica was newly pregnant, and Leslie and Jack had trouble getting along; Leslie was in the "Mine!" stage and poor Jack simply could not handle her claiming possession of his toys! They did manage to play nicely together a few times, but it was a challenging time (but fun! And I'm so glad we got to host them!). This time they were two little peas in a pod, playing together so sweetly, and Leslie and Lily even played a little. It was just astounding the difference those few months made for both of those kids! OH OH OH how I wish those two cousins could grow up closer together :( I love the kind of parents Jessica and Aaron are, and I think extended families like that make homeschooling (and life!) so much richer. I do think that that is our goal, though; Tim and I dream of living near his parents, and I think Jessica wants to live closer to them as well. Just think of the possibilities!

I have reached a happy problem. Writing this blog is making me stay up to late at night. Apparently, I have too much going on in my life to be able to document it all :D I'd like to keep writing a post every night, but I guess I'll have to make my posts shorter, just write about the most important, best things. I am so richly blessed :D

Quote from Jack as he watched some cartoon characters balloon into balls, "They got big! They had a lot of poo-poo."